


Seconde Possibilita

by StackerPentecost



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alpha Rick Grimes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Brief Bloodplay, Dirty Talk, Knotting, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Nesting, Omega Negan, Post-All Out War Arc (Walking Dead), Pregnant Sex, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-03-17 05:09:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13652073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StackerPentecost/pseuds/StackerPentecost
Summary: Negan has been hiding a big secret. Rick is the only one who can help him.





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hooray for a rush of productivity! And of course, it's more Regan. I come up with new ideas for this pairing constantly, I can't help it. I know this story isn't something you see a lot of, but I hope you'll give it a chance and read anyway.

The menu today was an omelette, along with a side of hash browns and peaches. Rick had assembled the plate himself. He did every day, three times a day. He went through the same routine at nine, noon and six. Now that there was peace, he had time to devote to this tedious task. He walked the same route each time, out of his house and down two blocks, food in hand, rain or shine.

He used a pair of keys to open the door and stepped inside, balancing the food in one hand to close the door.

“Rick! Top of the morning to you!”

Negan stood with his long arms wound through the bars of his cell as he grinned at Rick. He was always awake, always waiting right there for Rick’s arrival. His cheerful attitude was a little perturbing to Rick. But by now he was used to it.

“And what’s for breakfast on this fine day?”

“See for yourself.” Rick simply grunted.

He waited. Negan knew the drill. Rick wouldn’t open the cell door unless he stepped back. And oddly enough, Negan always obeyed this rule, moving back toward the cot pressed against the opposite wall. Only then did Rick retrieve his keys again and unlock the cell. Rick stepped forward, setting the plate down on a small table by the door. He pulled a bottle of water from his back pocket and set it down as well.

The whole time Rick can feel Negan’s eyes on him. When he first started doing this, he had come armed, convinced Negan would jump him and attempt to escape. But nothing like that had ever happened. Still, Rick never left his home without his Colt.

“Oh, Rick, you sure do look mighty fucking fine today. Your ass looks damn good in those jeans. How'd you find a fit that good in these trying times? Huh, sweet thing?”

Rick had no reaction, just setting the meal down and trying to get out of that cell as soon as he could. He closed the cell door as he stepped out, turning to lock it. Negan took this chance to get close, still grinning.

“Come on sweetheart,” He called, even as the bars separated them. “I can’t even get a smile?”

This question was ignored as Rick walked straight toward the door. He was halfway out when Negan cried out, “Wait!”

Rick wasn’t sure why he stopped. Maybe it was out of curiosity. He made the short few strides to come back inside.

“What? You better be dying.”

Negan licked his lips and for a brief moment, something passed over his face, like he really was in pain. But then it was gone and Rick was sure he’d imagined the whole thing. Negan looked fine anyway. As if to prove his point, the other man gave him a wink and a smirk.

“How about you bring a little something nice and you and me can have a lunch date?”

Rick let out an exasperated sigh and disappeared out the door, closing and locking it behind him.

* * *

 

The next time Rick comes, he’s carrying a tray that contains a chicken sandwich, beans and apple slices. He let himself in again and wasn’t surprised to find Negan was in the same position as he’d been in that morning. He smiled upon seeing Rick, eyes raking over the other man just like they always did. But Rick noticed something was off. Maybe it was the way Negan was holding himself or the droplets of sweat he could see beading on his skin. And his scent, normally strong, almost exuding the confidence exhibited by the man, seemed off. Rick couldn’t quite figure out what exactly he was sensing, but he decided not to question it. It was Negan after all, so he wasn’t about to be concerned when the man looked well enough.

He went about the same routine, waiting until Negan moved back before entering the cell and leaving the food. Only this time, when he did, Negan reached out and tried to grab ahold of Rick’s hand.

The former sheriff had spun around in a matter of seconds, pressing the barrel of his Colt against Negan’s temple.

“What in the fuck do you think you’re doing? You know how this goes and you touching me is not part of it.”

Negan’s eyes darted up to meet Rick’s. He was breathing a bit heavily. But nonetheless, he retracted his arm and put his hands up in a gesture of surrender.

“I meant no harm, sweetheart.” He said and did not offer any other explanation.

Rick glared at him for a long moment before he carefully lowered his gun and stowed it back in its holster at his hip. He walked out of the cell and turned to lock it. As he left the room, he muttered, “Just don’t do it again.”

* * *

 

Today’s dinner consisted of meatloaf, mashed potatoes and green beans. Rick sighed as he walked to where Negan was kept. He’d been thinking about his odd behavior ever since it had happened. Negan never tried to touch him. Sure, he stared and leered and mocked, but that was normal for him. But trying to break the boundaries between them and get himself shot? That just didn’t make sense. Now, he might have tried that before he’d been captured but not in his current situation. Or maybe he’d just been biding his time all along, and this was his way of figuring out a way to get free. Rick just didn’t know. Negan was many things, including unpredictable.

As soon as he opened the door, Rick knew something was wrong. The smell in the air was unmistakably sweet, so unlike Negan. It almost stung Rick’s nose it was so strong. Immediately he felt arousal spike in his stomach.

He swore loudly, slamming the door closed and almost tossing the food aside. He knew what this was, what it meant. Now the way Negan had been acting seemed to make a lot more sense.

Inside the cell, Negan lay on the cot, shivering and sweating profusely. He’d shed his signature leather jacket, but refused to strip down further. He smelled Rick before he caught sight of him and immediately let out a whimper.

“Fuck, it’s good to see you, sweetheart.”

Rick growled, anger boiling behind his growing lust. “You motherfucker, you’ve been a goddamn Omega this whole time? And you didn’t even bother to mention it?!”

Negan let out a weak chuckle followed by a moan. “Honey, it’s been so long since I’ve been in a heat, I didn’t even recognize the symptoms when they started.”

Rick rolled his eyes, baring his teeth. “How can you fucking forget what you are?!”

“You gotta understand somethin’, sugar. I’ve been playin’ Alpha since I was sixteen. My daddy didn’t exactly want an Omega for a son. And I got lucky, I’m built like an Alpha should be, so with suppressants it wasn’t so hard. Even as a Savior, I got lucky again. We found a big stockpile of the shit early on, so I never went without. Until now, that is.”

Rick’s eyes narrowed. “How the hell are you even alive? That long on suppressants should’ve given you cancer or something! You should be dead by now!”

Negan shook his head and closed his eyes, a tremor traveling down his spine.

“I’ve always been a dead man walking, Rick. You should know that by now.”

He carefully pulled himself up into a sitting position, whining when he felt a rush a slick soak his clothes. “You gotta help me, Alpha..”

“I don’t have to do anything.” He hissed, grabbing the bars of the cell in tight fists.

But Negan could smell him, smell the rut beginning to start. The longer he was here, the more impossible it would be to resist.

“Come on, sugar, don’t be like that. You know no other Alpha is going to come down here and help me. It’s been so long..I ain’t gonna be able to handle it myself and all I got is my fingers, I don’t even have a toy to help it along..”

As it was, it was taking all his self control not strip down and fuck himself on whatever object was closest. But maybe, just maybe, if he continued to play his cards right, he could have Rick instead.

“That’s your problem, not mine. I’m strong, you won’t make me go into a rut.” Rick insisted, baring his teeth again.

Negan shook his head. “You really believe that, Rick? You think you can just walk out of here and forget? You’ve already got my scent.”

He smiled faintly. “Your eyes..they’re already turning red. Face it, you can’t stop it. Even if you went and found someone else to be with, it wouldn’t be enough. You need an Omega in heat, you need me.”

Negan wasn’t lying. Rick’s normally blue eyes were now glowing red. His knuckles had turned white where he was gripping the cell bars as he watched Negan.

“You think I would fuck you, knowing that you could get pregnant? Then you’re mistaken. And no, I ain’t about to run off and find a condom either. So I guess you’re just going to have to lay here and suffer.”

Rick slowly uncurled his fists and stepped back, trying desperately to fight the urge to open the cell, push Negan down and mount him. He was already hard, cock pressing against his jeans. He knew Negan could see but he honestly didn’t care.

“You’re the one who said I should be dead from the suppressants. So if I’m not dead, but at the very least, I’m infertile..nothing to worry about.”

Negan shakily stood up, slowly stepping as close as he could get to Rick with the cell bars still between them. “What do you want from me, Rick? Do you want me to beg for it, is that it?”

Rick clenched his jaw and his hands became fists once again. He was breathing heavily, eyes a bloody red.

“Yeah..” He murmured, voice rough. “That is exactly what I want. You need me to help you? Then beg for it, Negan.”

The Omega shifted uncomfortably, swallowing around the lump that had formed in his throat. It was in his nature to please, but he was also used to playing the part of a strong, confident Alpha that bowed to no one. It set off a war of emotions inside him but in the end, his need to feel an Alpha inside him won over all else. Negan bit his lip before sinking to his knees.

He took a deep breath, feeling more slick soak his pants. He felt so warm, the smell of sweat and pheromones clogging the air.

“Please Rick..Alpha...I need you. I need you inside me. And fuck, I know you want it too. I know you haven’t got anybody, I know you’ve gotta be lonely. So here I am, presenting myself to you.”

To emphasize his point, he turned his head, baring his neck as a sign of total submission. “Fucking knot me, Rick.”

All was quiet for a long moment. Then a growl tore from Rick’s throat and he surged forward, unlocking the cell.

“You are going to do exactly what I say, when I say it or this doesn’t happen and I gladly leave your sorry ass here to writhe in pain alone. Got it?”

Negan nodded, keeping his eyes trained on the floor. “Yes, Alpha.”

“Now get up, strip and get on the bed, on all fours. You said you were presenting yourself to me, then do it.”

Negan obeyed, standing up and beginning to rid himself of his clothes. It felt good, to finally get rid of his shirt and pants and everything else. They all felt so tight and uncomfortable on his overheated skin that being naked was a welcomed change. He shivered slightly under Rick’s harsh gaze before moving to the bed. He moved like Rick had instructed, first kneeling then bending over and placing his hands on the cot. He bowed his head again, spreading his legs, presenting his hole for Rick. He was positively oozing slick now, dribbling down his balls and thighs. It was as though his body sensed it was going to get what it craved.

When Rick didn’t move, Negan let out an impatient whine. “Alpha, please..”

Finally, Rick did something, coming in and turning to close the cell door behind him. He almost couldn’t believe the sight before him, but decided not to dwell on it. His cock was aching tremendously and he just wanted to get this done and over with so he could think straight again. He came to kneel on the end of the bed, hands carefully undoing his belt and then his jeans. He pushed them down his thighs along with his boxers, freeing his stiff cock. He gave it several firm strokes before he came up behind the other man, letting his member slide between Negan’s cheeks.

The Omega let out a pleased sigh, pressing back against Rick’s cock. Rick hands weren’t so gentle as they reached to push Negan down by the neck. He continued to tease Negan’s hole, playing like he was going to slide in, pressing the very tip inside, only to pull back out before Negan could get much of anything. Beneath him, Negan protested by trying to squirm back beneath Rick’s grip, needing his cock more and more.

“Stop that right now. You aren’t getting anything if you keep trying to take control. You’re not an Alpha anymore Negan, I am and you will do what I fucking tell you when I fucking tell you.”

This was met with a whimper but Negan did as he was told and went still. He’d spent so much time in charge of others and giving orders but at his very core he was an Omega and eager to please.

Rick exhaled sharply. It was taking all of his self control to not give into his baser instincts and simply fuck Negan until he was howling. But he was enjoying this, having this man at his mercy.

“Spread yourself for me, right now.” Rick demanded.

Panting heavily, Negan reached back and used both hands to spread his cheeks, exposing his weeping hole. Rick let out a deep growl, shoving three fingers in without warning.

“Fuck! Alpha!” Negan moaned loudly, unable to help the way he pressed back on the digits. Rick roughly spread them before beginning to fuck Negan’s hole.

“Maybe this is all I’ll give you, huh? Oh, it might satisfy you a little but it’s nothing like the real thing, nothing like what you want. But it’s what you fucking deserve! I should let you lay here in your own sweat and slick! Should let you rot in here all by yourself!”

Shivering, Negan groaned, pressing his forehead against the mattress. “Please Rick, Alpha..I’ll be good, I promise. But please, don’t leave me. Need this, need your cock, need you..”

Rick growled, squeezing Negan’s neck. “You do what I fucking say. You try anything, I don’t care if I’m balls deep inside you, I will stop and walk right out the fucking door. Am I fucking clear?”

Negan nodded quickly. “I’m yours, Alpha.”

Rick seemed satisfied with that answer. He pulled his fingers free, wiping the slick off on the bed. The Omega let out a soft whine but otherwise didn’t protest. Rick stilled then for a moment, clearly turning an idea over in his head. He got up and quietly retrieved his belt from the floor. It was hard to concentrate, his brain focused on one thing and one thing only, but he wasn’t sure if he could let this happen without this precaution.

“Arms out, now.” He ordered gruffly, waiting until Negan had offered up his arms before wrapping the belt around his wrists. Surprisingly, Negan offered no resistance, letting Rick bind his hands together with the belt. The Omega’s eyes shined gold as he looked up at him, filed with obvious lust and desperate need.

“Please fuck me. I have no choice but to behave now. So for fuck’s sake Rick, put your cock in me!”

The former sheriff resisted the urge to retort something nasty, knowing it was getting neither of them what they wanted. Rick merely tilted his head, murmuring, “Ass up, now.”

Negan obeyed, keeping his head down and once again spreading his legs and presenting himself to Rick. Rick settled himself back behind Negan, shivering as his cock slid through his slick. Gritting his teeth, he let out another rough, possessive growl and shoved his cock inside, burying himself deep.

Negan let out something between a sigh and a moan, some tension visibly draining from his body. He resisted the urge to move, to fuck himself on Rick’s cock, not knowing if the other man would allow him to. He felt grateful when Rick finally began to move.

The Alpha snapped his hips forward, pleased with the sound of skin on skin and Negan’s subsequent groan. He pulled back out, only leaving the very tip inside before thrusting hard again. He was quick to set a brutal and punishing pace, barely giving Negan time to breathe. Beneath him, the Omega whined and whimpered, raising his hips to meet each thrust, pleased when he wasn’t reprimanded.

“You like this, don’t you? You like being my little bitch.” Rick reached to wrap his hand around Negan’s throat, pressing the his face into the bed. When the only response he got was a muffled groan, Rick took his other hand and landed a smack on Negan’s ass.

“Answer me! I wanna hear you say it!” He demanded, stopping his movements.

Negan whined loudly, shifting his hips to try and get the attention he wasn’t receiving. Rick growled, a hand going to hold Negan’s hips in a bruising grip so he couldn’t move. The Omega whimpered, turning his head slightly so he could look at Rick.

“Please..”

“Then do what I fucking tell you, when I fucking tell you! I ask you something, you answer me dammit!”

Negan nodded, “I’ll be good, Rick, I’ll be good for you.”

Rick scoffed. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Negan let a soft purr come from his chest and he looked at Rick with earnest golden eyes.

“I like being your bitch.” He declared.

Rick’s eyes flared blood red and he squeezed Negan’s neck a little harder. Finally he muttered, “Good boy.”

It wasn’t much, but Negan was going to take whatever he could get. He soaked up the praise, the purr he was making getting slightly louder. He kept his eyes trained on Rick.

“Fuck me, Alpha. Tear me apart.”

Rick flashed his fangs, manhandling Negan onto his side. He laid behind Negan, wrapping an arm around his leg to raise it. He quickly shoved himself back inside, snaking his other arm beneath Negan to grip his middle. Negan gasped quietly at this new angle, unable to do much else but hold on for the ride as Rick began to pound his hole once again.

“Don’t wanna be let go, do you? You like being here in this cage, you like being tied up and at my mercy!”

Negan nodded eagerly, feeling the urge to use his bound hands for the only thing he can use them for at the moment and that’s to touch his neglected cock. But he was determined to obey the Alpha and Rick hadn’t given him permission. So he did the only thing he could do.

He ran his mouth.

“Love it, Rick. Love being fucked like this, love having your fucking cock inside me. Wish I could have it all the damn time, morning, noon and night. Nothing but your dick splitting me open.”

Despite the fact that Rick knew it was mostly bullshit, it still played to his Alpha instincts to hear Negan talk like that. It spurred him on as he chased his orgasm.

Negan’s hands twitched in front of him. “Alpha..fucking shit, let me touch myself, please.”

Rick’s growl sounded almost feral as he pulled out, shoving Negan onto his back and clambering between his legs.

“No.”

He promptly pushed himself back inside, enjoying the strangled cry he got from Negan. He relished every single obscene sound that came from the Omega’s mouth, despite whether he wanted to admit it or not. He was getting close, dangerously close. He could feel his knot beginning to swell. Part of him almost wanted to pull out before that happened, didn’t want to be tied to Negan for any amount of time. But he found he couldn’t stop, couldn’t slow down, too caught up in the pleasure of it all and his drive as an Alpha pushing him.

Beneath him, Negan was squirming, unsure what to do with his hands since he wasn’t allowed to touch where he wanted. He looked between Rick and his dribbling cock.

“Please, Rick, fucking please..”

Rick finally took pity on the other man.

“Touch yourself, get yourself off with my dick inside you.” He hissed, watching as Negan used his bound hands to form a fist and roughly began to stroke himself in time with Rick’s thrusts.

“Cum in me, Alpha. Fucking knot me.”

Negan wasn’t afraid of the venom in Rick’s voice or in his eyes. He far preferred it to the look of absolute blankness that Rick usually leveled at him. He clamped down, intent on pushing Rick over the edge. He was so desperately close himself, but he wanted to see the look on Rick’s face when he was overcome.

Rick let out an utterly animalistic moan, hands gripping Negan’s hips hard enough to bruise, hips stuttering as he emptied himself inside the Omega. Negan was determined to milk Rick of everything he had, wanting to be filled completely. He groaned as he felt Rick’s knot swell and tether them together. It didn’t take much more before he was spilling all over his hands, eyes trained on Rick the whole time. The Alpha regarded him silently as he shook and shuddered. His eyes were much less red, dulled to faint hue. Negan couldn’t decipher what Rick was thinking, his expression not necessarily blank but still unreadable.

Negan spent the next few minutes catching his breath, still very much aware of the thick knot inside him and Rick’s apparent unwillingness to say much of anything about it.

Finally, he got tired of the silence.

“You just gonna keep staring at me this whole time, sweet cheeks, is that it?”

Rick let out a noncommittal grunt. “I don’t have a damn thing to say to you.”

Negan rolled his eyes. “You fucking suck ass at pillow talk, Rick.”

The Alpha bared his teeth, hand shooting out to grab Negan’s neck and squeeze. Not hard enough to do any damage, it was done more as warning.

“There is no such thing going on here. This is not happening. You are going to shut the fuck up until my knot goes down and then I’m gone.”

Negan felt rage flash through him like lightning, a trait he couldn’t shake even in the submissive position he was in. He grabbed Rick’s wrist and jerked his hand away, anger simmering just beneath the surface.

“You do not get to treat me like that.” Negan growled, “Just because you fucked me, does not mean you get to treat me like shit.”

Rick continued to bare his fangs but said nothing and retracted his hand. Negan sighed in slight exasperation at the other man’s behavior but didn’t comment further.

Instead he asked, “How long does this usually last?”

Rick had put on his usual blank mask by now, which distressed Negan a little, though he refused to show it.

“Not much longer.”

The Omega in Negan cried out to feel some sort of affection from Rick, anything at all but he knew he wasn’t going to get it. So he simply laid his head back and closed his eyes. If Rick was refusing to interact, then he would do the same.

Rick was right, it didn’t take long. About ten minutes or so later, Negan felt the Alpha’s knot begin to loosen and go down. As soon as he was able to, Rick jerked away from him, immediately standing and beginning to dress. He only stopped long enough to undo Negan’s hands. 

Negan sat up much more slowly, watching Rick with a weary expression.

He hated that seeing Rick all anxious to get out and leave him bothered him so much. It shouldn’t matter. He’d gotten what he needed, he didn’t have to suffer through his heat alone and now it was over, taken care of. Things could go back to normal.

But what if it happened again? Would Rick be even less accommodating than he had been this time?

He decided not to dwell on it. After all, it didn’t really matter. He’d at least gotten to be with Rick once, that was more than he’d had before. Even if things weren’t the way he wanted, even if his feelings for Rick weren’t returned, he at least, for a moment, knew what it felt like to be Rick’s mate. And he’d get to see him again, three times a day, just like he always did.

Though, when the cell closed and the door to the room slammed shut, it felt awfully final.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan and Rick's night together yields unexpected consequences.

When the door opened the next morning, Negan was waiting, as usual. But when he caught sight of who had come, the smile was gone from his face.

“Where’s Rick?”

The samurai, whose name Negan couldn’t quite recall, regarded him silently for a moment before coming forward, food in hand.

“He’s busy.” Was the only explanation she gave as she opened his cell and placed the food inside.

“Busy? He’s never been fucking busy before.”

The woman - Michonne! That was her name! - did nothing to hold back as she rolled her eyes at him. “He’s our leader, of course he’s busy. The world doesn’t revolve around you, Negan.”

Negan bristled, tempted to snap something mean at her but found he didn’t have the heart to. God, what was happening to him? First, he gets on his knees for an Alpha, even if it had been Rick, and now he couldn’t even come up with something to say to a damn woman he barely knew? Negan let out a huff as he watched Michonne lock the cell and leave the room.

Fine. He could live without seeing Rick at every meal. He had to stop being busy sometime, right?

At every other meal that day, Michonne came instead of Rick. She essentially ignored him the whole time, leaving the food before quietly exiting the room. It was unnerving. She acted like a damn ghost. Every time Negan made any comment toward her, she simply went about her business and said nothing. Still, that night when Negan laid down to sleep, he didn’t feel all that worried. Surely Rick would be back in the morning.

* * *

 

He was wrong. And fuck, did he hate being wrong. Not long after he woke up, he was greeted by the sight of Michonne bringing in his breakfast. He gritted his teeth and resisted the surge of anger he felt welling up inside him.

“Fucking busy again, is he?”

For once Michonne made eye contact with him. She didn’t even waver when he glared at her. “Yeah, he’s busy.”

With that, she took her leave of him.

Negan had a feeling this was going to become his new normal.

* * *

 

Every day from then on felt like it had no meaning. Normally he could deal with the monotony and boredom between Rick’s visits, but Rick wasn’t coming anymore. Negan had the distinct feeling he was being avoided. He’d never pegged Rick as someone who would do that, but he hadn’t expected them to get down and dirty the way they had either. Of course he’d dreamed of it, welcomed it when it happened, but he’d been fully prepared to live out the rest of his life never knowing what it felt like to have Rick inside him. When the opportunity had presented itself though, he’d sure as hell grabbed life by the horns and taken it.

They didn’t even have to speak about what happened, they could just ignore it if that’s what Rick wanted. It would bother Negan on the inside, maybe even hurt and sting, but he’d learn to live with it just to see Rick again, to be able to talk him.

Now he wasn’t sure what to do. No amount of hoping was going to bring Rick back to him, he was sure of that. And he doubted simply asking to see him would work either. He needed a legitimate reason. And that was something he simply did not have. So, for the time being, it seemed he was resigned to loneliness and discontent, at least until he figured out what to do.

It was almost a month and a half before he came up with a reason that would get Rick back to see him. He’d figured it out a couple of days prior. He wasn’t sure what had made him realize this, but he was almost sure of it. And by the odd way Michonne kept looking at him when she came to deliver his food, he figured he had to be on the right track. But if he asked that she relay a message to Rick, how would he even know if she would? And his message was…personal, to say the least. Personal enough that he didn’t even want to say it aloud in front of her. He knew she would know it to be true, his scent obviously was already giving it away, but still, he wanted this to be private, between him and Rick like it should be. So, he decided to give it his best shot, hoping he could impress some urgency on her.

When she came for his evening meal, he was waiting.

“I need you to tell Rick that I need to see him.”

She sighed softly, leveling him with a less than impressed look. “I’m not going to bother him with your bullshit.”

Negan exhaled heavily, prepared for the resistance. “It’s not bullshit, it’s important. I need to talk to him.”

“You aren’t worth his time.”

Now that stung just a bit.

“Listen Michonne, I have a fucking feeling you and I both know what I’m going to tell him. I can fucking tell by the looks you’ve been fucking giving me every time you’ve been here for the last few weeks. Now, something that big, that important, don’t you think he has a fucking right to know?! To hear it from the fucking source?!”

Her expression changed then. It seemed he might have gotten through to her. She tapped her fingers on her thigh before coming to set his food down. As she went to leave, he almost didn’t hear her say, “I’ll make sure he gets the message.”

* * *

 

Michonne found Rick in his home, cleaning his Colt. Judith sat in a playpen a few feet away, engrossed by a set of wooden blocks. He looked up when she entered the house.

“Hey.”

She smiled softly, pulling a chair out and joining him at the table. “Hi. How’d this week’s trade with the Hilltop go?”

Rick’s hands went back to what they’d been doing. “Good. They found some more solar panels to replace the ones we lost in the war. We found more raw material for their blacksmithing operation. All in all, another good trade. We’ve got a good store of food, the repairs to the houses and the wall are on schedule, things are going well.”

She nodded. “That’s good to hear.”

“Yeah, but that’s not why you’re here. I could tell by the look on your face when you came in.” He set down the gun and looked over at her. “What is it? Did something happen?”

She bit her lip before letting out a sigh. “It’s Negan.”

Rick visibly stiffened at that. “What about him?”

She placed her hands on the table, lacing her fingers together. “He wants to see you.”

A muscle in Rick’s face twitched. “No.”

“Listen -”

“I said no. He doesn’t need to see me. I’m sure you’re doing just fine dealing with him.”

“It’s not that, Rick. It’s important.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “How do you know that? What did he tell you?”

She shook her head. “It’s not what he told me, it’s what I know. You need to see him.”

Rick’s jaw clenched. “Are you absolutely sure?”

Michonne nodded. “I wouldn’t have told you if I wasn’t.”

* * *

 

When Negan woke up the next morning, Rick was waiting for him. He was surprised he hadn’t heard the other man come in. Negan yawned and stretched his arms above his head.

“It’s good to see you too, sweetness. How long you been there?”

Rick ignored the question. “You promised me. You fucking lied to me.”

Negan sighed, running a hand through his already messy hair. “I didn’t lie about a damn thing, darlin’. What I told you is what I thought was true.”

Rick’s hands turned into fists. “You can’t possibly expect me to believe that you didn’t fucking know.” His voice was ice cold and sharp as a knife.

“I don’t fucking expect anything of you, Rick. All I can do right now is tell the fucking truth and that’s what I’m fucking doing.”

Rick shook his head, clearly getting agitated. “I can’t fucking believe you.”

“I didn’t fucking ask for this! I didn’t fucking know it would happen! All I wanted was for you to help me through my goddamn heat! I had no fucking clue I’d end up pregnant!”

The Alpha visibly recoiled at the word.

For a long time, neither of them said anything as Rick seethed. Negan had expected this for the most part. He certainly didn’t think Rick was going to jump for joy, he knew better than to get up his hopes like that.

“What do you expect to do with it?” The other man’s voice came out softer this time.

Negan looked up at Rick, tilting his head. “What do you mean?”

"Are you going to keep it?”

Negan swallowed, feeling a lump forming in his throat. He hated, _hated_ , that Rick would even ask him that. When he met Rick’s gaze, his expression was utterly serious.

“If you think for one fucking second that I would get rid of the only child I’ve ever had the fortune of being given, then you’re dead fucking wrong and you don’t fucking know me at all.” Unconsciously, a hand went to his still flat stomach. “I’d rather beat someone to death than have to give up this child. I don’t know about you, or how you feel, but..” He shook his head. “I never got the chance to have a pup with my mate. It just never fucking happened. We tried and tried but we figured like I did, that I was infertile or maybe she was. And then other things got in the way and then...she was gone. That was when the world went to shit.”

He sighed deeply. “You don’t have to want it or me. I’m fully fucking prepared to deal with this completely on my own.”

Another heavy silence fell between them.

Finally, Rick muttered, “I need time to think.”

Before Negan could say another word, he was gone.

* * *

 

Michonne returned again to bring him his food. Negan didn’t even bother speaking to her. He didn’t have the heart to start up an argument with anyone and she had helped him, she had spoken to Rick like he asked, so he decided not to bother her.

Normally he ate whatever was given to him, but now he didn’t feel much like eating. He had been telling the truth, he was fully prepared to parent this child on his own, but that didn’t mean he had to like it or feel good about it. Periodically he cursed under his breath as he paced his cell, feeling like a caged animal for the first time since he’d been brought here.

He’d never pictured himself having a child without a mate. Though he hadn’t always been the best Omega to his Alpha, he had still loved Lucille with everything he had. He missed her even now, when her memory practically lived in another world, another lifetime. She would never have slept with him, knocked him up and then acted like she couldn’t stand the sight of him like Rick had.

Negan hated knowing that if Rick did come back, he would forgive the other man. No matter what Rick did, Negan couldn’t stay mad for long. He’d tried to hate him on more than one occasion and found it to be impossible.

Negan had to wait a lot less this time. Rick returned approximately a week later, though Negan couldn’t totally be sure, the days often ran together.

Once again, he was standing there when Negan woke up. Nobody could sneak up on him, nobody except Rick Grimes. When Rick said nothing, simply looking at him silently, Negan sighed, quietly pulling on his clothes for the day. He didn’t miss the fact that Rick’s eyes didn’t look away as slipped on his pants and shirt.

“Are you gonna fucking say something or would you prefer to just ogle my ass?”

Rick let out a huff as Negan turned around and sat down on the cot. But instead of saying something, he simply came forward and unlocked the cell door. Negan watched him, eyebrows raised as he stepped back and allowed the door to swing open.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Rick bit his lip briefly. “Letting you out.”

Negan blinked. “Excuse fucking me?”

“You heard me. I’ve made the decision to let you out.”

He still didn’t understand. “But..you said after the war was over, that this was my fucking punishment. Now you’re just..letting me out?”

Rick crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t like it, but I can’t in good conscience leave you in here in your..condition.”

“So where am I supposed to go?”

“You’ll be staying in Alexandria and you won’t be allowed to leave.”

Negan rolled his eyes. “I fucking figured that. But where exactly am I going to be sleeping, outside? In a tent? I doubt any of your people are gonna want me under their roof.”

Rick sighed. “That’s why you’re going to be staying with me in my house, so I can keep a fucking eye on you.”

Negan tried to ignore the way his heart sped up at the thought that he was going to be sleeping in the same house as Rick. It wasn’t in his bed, but it was more than he’d expected.

“You can trust me, Rick.”

The former sheriff eyed him wearily. “I guess we’ll see about that.”


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan begins to settle into his new home under Rick's roof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. So I thought I knew how many chapters this story is gonna be, but the more I add to it, the more ideas I get and the more it continues to grow. So that's all a little up in the air right now. I would take what's listed as an estimate. As always, a big thank you to Chloe, who I love more than life itself.

The first thing Negan hears when Rick opens the door to his house is a loud, “No fucking way!”

He doesn’t have to see inside to know who it is.

“ _Carl!_ Watch your mouth, you’ll wake your sister!” Rick hissed in response, features turning into something scolding. He walked inside them and Negan followed after. Carl is glaring at them with his one good eye, arms crossed over his chest. He doesn’t even look at his father, he’s focused squarely on Negan.

“You are not bringing him in here.”

“I already told you that is how it has to be!”

It was interesting to watch the two face off. Carl was so much like his father in the way he held his ground, as though he wasn’t willing to give even a single inch. Negan vaguely wondered if his mother was this stubborn or if he had inherited it all from Rick.

“I don’t give two fucking shits if he’s knocked up! It’s not our responsibility! He can stay somewhere else! Hell, he can stay in prison, I don’t fucking care! Just not here!”

Negan took that to mean Rick hadn’t informed Carl about who exactly had gotten him pregnant. Uneasiness settled in Negan’s gut.

Rick had clearly had enough with Carl’s mouth and attitude. He strode forward, meeting Carl with an equally intense stare. “This is my house, my roof. This is my decision and it is final. Now you yell one more time and you’re grounded until the dead stop walking and I’m in the ground. Got it?”

Carl’s lip twitched, flashing burgeoning fangs. His eyes were shining a faint red. The kid was well on his way to being a strong Alpha like his father.

“Fine. But don’t expect me to act like this is normal. I will never do that, ever.”

Rick rolled his eyes. “Whatever. He’s not going to be staying here forever anyway.”

Negan let out a minute sigh. He expected that.

Rick glanced over his shoulder. “Come on.”

He bypassed Carl and went to the staircase. Negan came along after a moment, maintaining eye contact with the young Alpha as he passed before following Rick up the stairs.

It was a nice house and if it had been damaged during the war, Negan couldn’t tell, at least, from what he’d seen. Rick led him down a hallway all the way to the end, opening up the door on his right. It revealed what he supposed was the guest room.

“You’ll be staying here. There’s a bathroom through that door there.” He gestured to the one of two doors. The other was open, revealing a closet.

“Are you going to lock me in here too?”

A muscle in Rick’s jaw flexed. “No. For now you’re free to roam, through the house and Alexandria. Don’t expect a warm reception if you go out though. And I swear to fuck, if you do anything to make me regret handing you this freedom, I will not feel a single bit of guilt about throwing you back in your cell and leaving you there.”

Negan knew that Rick wasn’t bullshitting in the least. He bit his lip, “Fair enough.”

He moved into the room, setting down on the bed. It wasn’t like he had to unpack, he didn’t have anything to bring with him save for the clothes he was wearing. They had taken away his beloved Lucille a long time ago and he had no idea what had been done to her. He doubted Rick would tell him if he asked and most certainly would never allow him to have her in his possession again. Negan briefly worried what he would do without a weapon, but decided he could handle it if someone tried something. And since he couldn’t leave, he didn’t have to worry about walkers. Still, he was more worried for the baby’s sake than his own.

When Rick turned to leave, he spoke up, “Rick?”

The Alpha stopped and turned back to look at him. “Hm?”

“When are you going to tell Carl the truth? He deserves to know.”

Rick’s expression changed, his jaw clenching and those blue eyes turning hard. “I don’t know if I’ll ever tell him.”

Negan was a little taken aback by that. He shook his head. “Then I will. I don’t know if he’ll believe me but I think he would.”

Before Negan realized what was happening, the door was slammed shut and Rick’s hand was winding around his throat. Negan jerked back, anger flaring as he shoved Rick, resisting the urge to throw a punch.

“Get your fucking hands off me!” He growled, though it was hard with Rick’s fingers pressing down on his windpipe.

“You do not tell my son a fucking thing unless I say you can, do you understand me? You are staying in my home, out of prison, because of me! You do not get to make those types of decisions!”

Negan lifted a leg and firmly planted it in Rick’s gut. The other man coughed and sputtered, his hand releasing Negan’s neck.

“I..am carrying..his sibling..” He wheezed, rubbing against his skin where he was sure there would soon be bruises. “I am..carrying..your child!”

Rick straightened and when he looked at Negan, the dull, blank stare he usually received was there again. It made Negan’s heart clench painfully.

“As far as I’m concerned, as far as you should be concerned, this child belongs to you and you alone.”

Negan watched as Rick turned his back and left him.

* * *

 

For the first few days, Negan didn’t feel like doing much of anything but staying in his room. The bed was much more comfortable than he was used to, so he took advantage and caught up on some decent sleep. Though eventually, when it soon became apparent that all he was going to do was dream, he decided to only sleep when he was tired.

He listened to the sounds of the house, picking up bits of conversation here and there but nothing of interest. Every now and then he would hear Judith, be it when she laughed or cried, and he wished he could see her. He had a feeling she would be the least judgmental of anyone and maybe, just maybe, she’d be happy about having a new baby around.

That’d be nice, except Rick may not even allow their child to be around his other children. It was becoming clear that Rick was willing to do things like that. It hurt to know that this would undoubtedly not be like that if Negan were anyone else on the planet besides himself.

Negan barely ate while he was alone. He wasn’t prepared to go downstairs to get something and he doubted anyone would bring him anything, so he simply didn’t eat, not he really wanted to. He was surprised when after his third day without eating, there was food left in his room when he woke up for the morning. He hated how it reminded him of being in prison, but he decided he better try to force down what he could. After all, the baby needed the food more than he did and he didn’t want to deprive his child because of his own ill feelings.

It was a week before Negan ventured out. He quietly opened the door to his room and came out into the house. He heard nothing, was sure everyone was gone. He explored the house first, taking note of where everything was. He’d only been in here a few times beforehand, so it felt good to know what the place actually consisted of. He decided to find something quick to eat. He’d only be subsisting on one meal a day, so he figured now that he’d gotten the balls to come out, extra calories were in order. Looking through the cupboards, he found a pack of cracker sandwiches, the kind with the fake cheese and nearly groaned.

God, he craved cheese like a motherfucker.

Negan sighed and put his hand over his belly. “That’s awfully fucking inconvenient of you, my dear, because I think that fake shit is about all we’re gonna have for a very long time.”

Nonetheless, he ate the sandwiches, washing it down with a glass of water.

“Who the fuck are you talking to?”

Negan jumped at the sound, whirling around.

Of course it was Carl.

Negan sighed. “I was just to talking to the kid, that’s all.”

Carl’s nose wrinkled. “Why? You aren’t that far along, it can’t hear you.”

Negan leveled him with a glare. “I’d prefer if you not fucking refer to them as an ‘it’.”

Carl rolled his eye and left the kitchen, presumably to go to his room. Negan tried not to let the teen’s attitude bother him. Children that age were always little shits and Carl was a Grimes, so that made him even more of one.

He spent a few more minutes eating, finding himself a peach and a granola bar. Once he was finished, he decided it was time to go outside. He hadn’t seen Alexandria in a long time, having only gotten a brief glimpse on his way over from his makeshift prison. He felt like he had to see how this place had changed, had to see the progress Rick had promised. He was also sure he’d feel better once he could orient himself, tell where he was in the grand scheme of things.

So he stepped outside, taking a breath of fresh air. He could hear people, the sounds of faint conversations and activity all over. A few of the people that happened to be in his vicinity stopped to gawk. He ignored them. He wasn’t sure how much they knew about his situation, he thought Rick would at least tell his people that he’d let him out, that he was staying under Rick’s roof, but maybe he hadn’t. Knowing people, it sure as hell wouldn’t stop the gossip.

He quietly made his way down the street. It was still warm out but Negan knew from experience that wouldn’t last, winter would be coming soon. He didn’t look forward to it, he’d didn’t much care for the cold. Winter had also been Lucille’s favorite time of year, which made the fact that she had died in December a little more heart wrenching. It was not a nice time of year for Negan, tied to too many memories.

He hoped this year would be different. He was in Rick’s house, he was carrying his child. Things had to get better. Shit always came before good things happened.

“What kind of nerve do you have showing your fucking face out here?”

Negan blinked, pulled from his thoughts. He’d gone pretty far, but hadn’t even noticed when the dark haired girl in camo had come up to him. She glared defiantly.

Recognition flickered in the back of Negan’s mind. He knew this woman. The lineup. And then later, she’d shot at him, embedded a bullet in Lucille. Negan clenched his jaw, fists tightening at his sides. He wished he had his weapon in hand. He didn’t exactly want to hurt her, that had been long time ago, but feeling the weight of Lucille in his palm had always been a comfort, an anchor of sorts.

“Rick let me out. He said I have free fucking roam of Alexandria, so I have as much fucking right to be out here as you do.”

She sneered at him, eyes a bright, mocking gold. His memory finally clicked. Her name was Rosita. He had killed her mate.

“Is it true? Is it fucking true? Some god forsaken piece of shit knocked you up?!”

Negan held his tongue. She was angry, she had a right to. No matter what he said, he couldn’t stop it.

Something in his expression must have given it away. She looked positively livid.

“You fucking little whore. Couldn’t be happy trying to kill us, so you tricked some poor fuck into dicking you without even a goddamn condom?! You..You are…”

When she lifted her lifted her fist, he expected the hit. He decided he would endure it. He wasn’t going to hit someone so much smaller and outmatched compared to him. What he didn’t expect, was for her to aim right for his stomach.

When he doubled over, she spat in his ear, “You’re a fucking disgusting piece of garbage.”

The elbow that she sent next kicked him into action. Negan let out a snarl and he grabbed ahold of her arm, twisting it painfully behind her back. She cried out but didn’t stop, twisting and bucking, trying to snap her head back to headbutt him. She succeeded, cracking her skull against his nose. He felt the warm splash of blood, but ignored it. His arms wrapped around her, one across her stomach and one around her throat.

“You can be pissed...you fucking scream and berate me..you can punch me in the face, I don’t give a fucking shit, but you do not, I repeat, fucking do not, try and hurt my child!”

A deep, dark part of him urged him to snap her neck.

“ _NEGAN!_ ”

Rick’s voice jerked him back to reality. He immediately let go of Rosita and stumbled back. When she surged toward him again, Rick was there, a hand on her chest.

“Back off.” He growled. “Back off right fucking now.”

“How can you justify letting that animal out?!” She yelled.

Negan watched wearily. “She..She tried to hurt them..She tried to hurt ou-my baby..”

For a second, Negan swore he saw something on Rick’s face, something that might have been more than just garden variety concern. But then it was gone as quickly as he’d noticed it. He looked back at Rosita. “I told everyone about this decision, but I didn’t tell everyone the reason. Who did you hear it from?”

Rosita seemed to calm slightly in Rick’s presence. “Your son.”

Negan sighed. Of course it was Carl, Rick certainly wasn’t going to tell, so who else could it be?

“Go home. Please. I’ll come speak to you later.”

Rosita gave one last half hearted glare at Negan before walking away. It was then that he noticed a little crowd had gathered.

“You heard right.” Rick directed at them. “Negan is a pregnant Omega. This is the reason I decided to free him. This does not mean you are free to treat him any way you please, or to try and harm his child. That will not be tolerated in any shape or form. Now please, go back to your business.”

Rick came to him and inclined his head back in the direction of the house. “Come on, let’s go back.”

Once they were back in the house, Rick seated him at the kitchen counter, retrieving a first aid kit. He examined Negan’s nose quietly, wiping away the blood.

“I don’t think it’s broken.” He murmured, fingertips light as a feather on his skin.

“I don’t give two shits about my nose, all I fucking care about is my baby..” Negan put a hand over his belly. “I know I’m not that far along but what if..?” He felt his throat tighten at the thought. “I can’t..if that happens, Rick..” He gritted his teeth, unable to go on.

_I know you don’t care but I do._

“You’re going to be fine. Both of you.”

Negan blinked, looking up to meet Rick’s eyes.

“You really believe that?” He asked softly.

“I don’t believe it, I know it.”

Almost, as if without thinking, Rick let his fingertips glide down Negan’s cheek, for once the distance gone from his gaze. He stepped back then, apparently not knowing the kind of electricity he just left in his wake.

Negan swallowed thickly. His heart had sped up just from that small touch.

As he watched Rick put away the first aid supplies, Negan made a decision. This is where he would focus his time. He would focus his energy on being in this house, on being around Rick and his family. He would show them, he would prove to them, and most importantly to Rick, that this baby and maybe even Negan himself was worth holding the name Grimes.


	4. Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan grows closer with Carl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you say anything, let's just pretend Olivia isn't dead.

Negan didn’t feel right for a good several weeks. He was constantly worried that Rosita had seriously injured his child and he just didn’t know. He visited the infirmary, but was told that he wasn’t far enough to tell much of anything, though outwardly everything seemed normal. So all he could do was wait and see.

He wasn’t able to focus on much of anything else in the meantime, mostly distant with Rick and his children. Not that they exactly noticed. But Rick did say something once in a while, inquiring about the baby’s well being.

Negan finally felt like things might be okay when one morning he looked in the mirror and noticed a change. Hands exploring under his shirt, he smiled softly. He was growing, he had a bit of a bump. That had to mean everything was okay, right? Nonetheless, he decided to visit the infirmary again soon, to see if they could tell him anything else, just to be safe.

He decided then it was high time he started acting like he wanted to be here. If he showed them that he was reasonably happy and felt somewhat comfortable, maybe Rick and Carl would look at him differently. So, though he fucking dreaded getting up with the sun, he started rising at the same time they did. He would come downstairs and find Rick and Carl already dressed, usually talking about whatever they planned on doing that day. Judith would sit in her high chair and smile and giggle, shoveling whatever food was put in front of her into her mouth and onto her face. Negan found it slightly miraculous that she ate without any protest, no matter what was given to her. Perhaps being hungry and eating whatever her family could scrounge up on the road had made an impression on her young memory, telling her to eat if there was food, no matter what it was.

At first, neither Rick nor Carl would acknowledge him, except to leave him some of whatever they were eating. He greeted them anyway and did his best to make conversation. If not, he listened, picking up details about their lives and the lives of the rest of the survivors. He wasn’t sure what to do with a lot of what he heard, but he stored it away, just in case.

One morning, almost a month after he had started getting up in the morning with them, Negan found himself in the kitchen alone. A quick peek back upstairs revealed the Grimes household was still sleeping. That was new. He’d never woken before them before. He shrugged and decided to do something about it. He would make breakfast. The first thing he did was inspect the fridge. There was eggs, bread, even milk. That was also new. Not the eggs and the bread, he’d seen the chicken coop and the mill, but the milk was a surprise. When the last time he’d seen a damn cow or even a goat? One of the other colonies must keep them.

Negan chewed his lip. An idea came to mind and he snapped his fingers. “Hot damn, that’s a great fucking idea.” He muttered.

He got out the bread, milk, and eggs, before browsing the cupboards. He found a few spices, like cinnamon and nutmeg. He was gonna make these assholes the goddamn best apocalypse french toast they’d ever tasted. He cracked a few eggs in a bowl, mixing it with the milk, cinnamon and nutmeg. Then he soaked the bread. It was no fancy french bread like he would’ve liked to use, but it sucked up the liquid well enough. He would’ve also liked some butter when he went to cook the toast but a little oil worked well enough. While everything cooked, he went looking for syrup and sugar. He couldn’t find either, but he supposed it would still taste good.

When everything was finished, he fixed four plates, even setting out a small plate for Judy. Negan smiled softly as he poured out some milk for the little girl, water for Carl, and he’d even found some instant coffee to make for him and Rick. He hoped this would go over well. He honestly didn’t care if Carl wasn’t pleased, he just wanted Rick to see that he was trying, that he did appreciate being here. He went about cleaning up everything while he waited for everyone to wake.

He was so engrossed in his task that he didn’t even hear Rick come up until there was a soft, “What is all this, Negan?”

Negan turned, a washcloth in his hand, a smile on his face. His heart practically stopped in his chest at the sight of the Alpha. Rick was dressed in jeans and a blue button up, hair a little damp from a shower. He was holding Judith on his hip. The little girl was wide awake, blinking up at Negan with bright eyes.

“It’s breakfast, I made breakfast.” Negan offered, gesturing toward the table.

“I see that.” Rick moved to place Judith in her high chair. She smiled up at him before reaching for the plate of food in front of her. Rick lifted it just out of her reach.

“You try it first.” He directed at Negan.

The other man blinked. “What?”

“You try it first before she eats it.”

Negan’s heart sank. “You think..” He gritted his teeth and hissed, “You think I’d try to poison you and your children?”

Rick looked at him like he was addressing a child throwing a tantrum. “I do.”

Negan took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “I..would never..” He growled.

“Then prove it. Try the food.”

Negan snatched up a piece of french toast and took a violent bite. He chewed, clearly annoyed, and swallowed. “Fucking happy now?”

Rick shrugged nonchalantly. “As much as I’m going to be.”

He set the plate down in front of Judith and let her eat. At least she seemed pleased with his cooking and effort. Carl appeared then, clearly still half asleep. His eye was barely open as he grabbed the piece of toast and began to eat. But when the taste hit him, his eye opened and he blinked in surprise.

“Dad? Did you make this?”

Negan watched the exchange, eating his own breakfast quietly.

Rick’s jaw twitched. “No. Negan made it.”

Carl’s eye narrowed as it focused on Negan but he didn’t stop eating. Rick was the last to pick up his breakfast, but he finally did eat. Negan felt immensely better when everyone finished their plates. It hadn’t been perfect like he’d wanted, but everyone had eaten and he’d done something good and productive for once.

Apparently Rick was off to tend to the greenhouse today while Carl planned on helping Rosita teach a few of the new survivors some fighting techniques. Just because things were peaceful didn’t mean they were letting their guards down. Negan could appreciate that.

They didn’t ask what he was doing but he expected that. Rick left first, grabbing a pair of gardening gloves from the hall before saying goodbye to his children and leaving. Carl picked up his sister, Negan supposed so he could drop her off with a babysitter. He turned back around and began to clean up everyone’s plates. He almost didn’t hear Carl’s muttered, “Thanks, Negan,” before he was out the door.

* * *

 

From then on, Negan was on breakfast duty. He was good at it too, coming up with substitutions for ingredients to his favorite recipes. He even made trips to the pantry, which was much more stocked than he remembered it being. The woman that manned the pantry, Olivia, was definitely afraid of him at first. He had had her shot at, after all. But after the first few trips, she stopped glaring at him and even answered his questions.

One day, as he examined the shelves, humming softly to himself, she appeared by his side.

“We just got a new trade in from the Kingdom. They have some excellent fruit, if you’d like to take a look. I haven’t had a chance to stock it yet.”

Negan blinked but nodded, following her into the house where several crates had been left. There were apples, strawberries, blueberries and several kinds of walnuts. He licked his lips at the sight of the strawberries. That had been another thing he’d been craving.

“I think I’ll take those damn beautiful strawberries, my dear, as many as you’re willing to give me.”

He flashed a smile. She managed a faint one in return before gathering up roughly half the fruit in a crate for him.

“Do you need help?” She asked, eyes pointedly going to his ever growing midsection.

He waved a hand. “Nah, the kid almost makes it fucking easier to carry shit, how fucking funny is that?”

Negan moved to go but stopped, turning back to face her.

“I’d uh, I’d also like to fucking say that I meant nothing by that comment I made to you a long fucking time ago. I know it doesn’t mean much to you, but I sure as fuck had to keep up appearances and coming on to beautiful ladies was part of the job. But, as you can probably fucking tell, I wasn’t really interested in another Omega like yourself.”

Olivia looked at her feet. “You’re right, it means little now, but thank you anyway. Enjoy the strawberries.”

As Negan walked back to Rick’s house, he decided he would use some of these strawberries to make something nice for Olivia.

* * *

 

“Will you make dinner?” Negan looked up from where he’d been reading. He was spread out on his bed, book propped up on his bump. He’d been reading everything he could get his hands that was about babies. He was surprised to find Carl standing in the doorway.

“The fuck you talking about, kid?”

“Dad’s on a run, he won’t be home till after dinner time. I’m hungry and I’m sick of boxed ramen. So make something for me. I know you can fucking cook.”

Negan ignored the language. He wasn’t Rick, he personally didn’t give two shits if Carl swore a little. He sat, removing the glasses he used to read and setting them aside along with his book.

“Where’s your sister?”

“Sleeping. But she’ll be up from her nap and hungry soon.”

“Won’t your daddy be fucking pissed at me?”

Carl rolled his eyes. “You’ve gotta stop being afraid of him. Who cares if he gets upset? It’s food, you’re helping. And I say it’s fucking okay, so he’ll just have to deal.”

Negan pursed his lips, “You gonna bitch about what I make?”

“Not if it’s good.”

Negan gave him a withering look. “Of course it’s gonna be fucking good, kid, I fucking made it after all.”

Carl rolled his eye. “The fuck you waiting for then?”

Negan huffed a sigh and got up. He wasn’t huge yet, but he found the more time passed, the more moving had become slightly painful and harder than normal. He didn’t mind much though, it meant his child was getting bigger, stronger.

He followed Carl downstairs and into the kitchen. He immediately set to work, already knowing what he wanted to make. Carl hovered nearby, watching as Negan got out a big pot and filled it was water.

“What are you making?”

“Spaghetti.”

He could almost hear Carl’s eye roll again. “Really? Didn’t you already pull that bullshit once?”

“Indeed I fucking did, but this time, things are different. And that shit’s good, you just never bothered to fucking try it.”

Carl's sanctimonious sigh did nothing to deter Negan. “Come on kid, the least you can do is make yourself fucking useful.”

After a moment, Carl came forward and they began to work together. It was somewhat like before, only this time the tension between them was much less pronounced. Carl was slightly annoyed, but otherwise he seemed comfortable. He wasn’t bad at the whole cooking thing, and pretty soon they had a nice sauce simmering on the stove and pasta boiling in the water.

“Where did you learn to do all this shit?”

“It’s not shit, son. But..I learned from my mom, and my grandmother. We’re not Italian, at least, I don’t think, I’m not entirely sure what we are, but the point is, my grandma could cook like nobody’s fucking business. She ate food she liked, she wanted to learn how to fucking make it. That’s just how she was. She taught my mom everything she knew. My mom tried to teach me as best she could, but my old man was a real hard ass, didn’t want an Omega for a son, didn’t want him learning no girly, Omega bullshit cooking neither. Still, my ma she tried. She fucking tried. Then when I mated, my mate, she knew how to cook too. Which was ironic as hell, considering Alphas aren’t supposed to do that shit, but she learned fucking anyway because she fucking wanted to. That was Lucille for ya, doing whatever the fuck she wanted, whenever the fuck she fucking pleased.”

Negan grew quiet then, feeling his throat get tight with emotion.

“She’s dead, like my mom is, isn’t she?”

Negan simply nodded and went back to stirring the sauce.

“My mom was kinda like that. She was stubborn, Dad’s says I’m like that too. But she did whatever she put her mind to. She was strong..even in the end, when shit was so hard all the time. She was strong right until her last minute.”

Negan turned, finding Carl hunched over the pasta. He hesitantly placed a hand on his shoulder. “My Lucille was too. Right until the very fucking end.”

They both were quiet as Negan reached to lift the pot with the pasta and strain it.

While his back was turned, he heard Carl murmur softly, “Do you love my dad like you loved her?”

Negan suddenly felt like all the air had been sucked from the room. Was he that transparent? How had Carl figured it out? He did what he could to reign in how he felt and he was sure Rick didn’t know. Or did he? If Carl had picked up on it, did that mean Rick had too?

He swallowed, setting the pot down. His arms suddenly felt like they couldn’t hold the weight. He looked down at his belly, reaching to touch it gently. When he spoke his voice came out more strained than he would’ve liked, “Yes...How-I haven’t-How did you know that?”

“You don’t see the way you look at him. And..you don’t see the way he looks at you.”

Negan blinked, turning a little to look back at Carl. “He doesn’t..That’s not how he sees me.”

Carl didn’t look convinced. “He may want you to think that, but I know. He cares about you. I don’t know if he loves you, but he cares.”

Negan bit his lip, a myriad of emotions swirling within him. If Rick cared, would it be too much to hope for more than that?

“Carl..there’s something else you should know.”

“Your baby, it was Dad you slept with, right?”

Negan’s eyes widened. Did this kid know fucking everything? Was he part fucking Jedi or some shit?

Carl chuckled at his bewildered expression. “You idiots are so fucking see through.” He shifted a little. “But I’m sorry, about spreading shit about you a while ago. I know it was why Rosita came and got into a fight with you. That was before I knew that the baby is uh..my brother or sister.”

Negan smiled softly. “Don’t worry about it, kid. You’re young, you make mistakes a lot at that age. The little one’s alright, that’s all that fucking matters to me.”

Carl smiled a little in return. “But seriously, if you two don’t want me to know shit, you should learn to hide it better.”

Negan bit his lip, unable to hold back a laugh. Soon he and Carl were laughing like a couple of dumbasses. They only stopped when the back door opened and Rick came into the kitchen.

“What the hell is so funny?”

Immediately, Negan straightened up. “Nothing, uh, nothing.”

Rick looked at Carl skeptically. The boy shrugged, “Negan said something funny.”

Negan shot the boy a grateful look.

“Did you guys make dinner? It smells..” Rick inhaled. “It smells pretty good.”

Negan couldn’t help grinning, eyes alight as he motioned to the food they’d prepared. “Carl is a great help. Please, help yourself.”


	5. Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan finds another way to keep busy and Rick seems to be having a change of heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the length of these last few chapters. I usually write a lot more but I originally planned for these chapters to be one long monster chapter, only to doubt I could pull that off and decide to break them up. I hope you're enjoying nonetheless.

Negan was designated head cook out the household from then. He cooked most every meal, unless he or Carl was feeling particularly lazy and decided to just boil water for ramen or heat some soup from a can, though that didn’t happen very often.

Soon the leaves began to change, turning glorious shades of red and orange and yellow before inevitably falling to the ground. Negan didn’t mind the view, but it was something he’d seen for years and it had become only slightly interesting. It was getting colder too, which he disliked. He wondered if that was purely because of him or if the baby felt the same. Nonetheless, he hated getting out from the warmth of his bed to make breakfast in the morning, wrapping himself in sweaters plus his leather jacket over the top. He looked a little..lumpy, to say the least, but he didn’t care. He didn’t have anyone to offer warmth or comfort and his urge to nest was getting stronger, so it helped to keep him at ease.

When Carl pointed out one morning in what was probably early December, that it was indeed snowing, light and fluffy flakes floating to the ground, Negan made an utterly disgusted sound. He sure as hell was staying inside as much as possible from now on. There was one problem with that though. Besides cooking and reading, he really didn’t have much he could do in the house. Carl was home more often, so that meant Judith was here more too, not needing a babysitter when she had her brother to watch her. This gave Negan an idea.

One afternoon, as much as he despised stepping outside and into the snow and cold, Negan bundled himself up and went out into the great white beyond. Granted, said beyond had only about an inch of snow on the ground. Still, his feet crunched slightly over the layer of snow as he made his way to the storehouse. Since it was so cold now, everything was shut and he had to knock for Olivia to let him in. They had warmed up to each other a lot more in the last few months. She actually smiled when she saw him.

“Hey, what brings you here? I thought you hated going out in the snow.”

Most of the people from Rick’s group loved the shit, including Rick and Carl, as they’d spent the majority of their lives living in Georgia, where snow was exceedingly rare. They were always out in it, doing and enjoying, despite the fact that it hadn’t even snowed enough yet to make snowballs. Negan knew he sounded like the damn Grinch himself, but he couldn’t help it, he hated this time of year. Nobody ever cared enough ask why, even Olivia and Carl, and he never bothered to explain and that was fine with him. As long as someone didn’t make him go out in it against his will, he was perfectly okay. Let them catch a fucking cold or get all wet and gross.

“I do, my dear, I fucking hate it with every fiber of my being but I since no one is going to go and do this for me, I had to get off my ass and do it myself. Which is fucking fine, I’m not a fucking pissbaby, I can walk a couple of blocks in the snow.”

Olivia chuckled softly. “What do you need?”

Negan rubbed his chin, scratching against his stubble. “Do you happen to have any fabric? Do people even collect or make that shit?”

Olivia pursed her lips in thought before nodding slowly. “I think we do. There’s a few people at the hilltop who make fabric and we found a store that was stocked with the stuff, like a craft store? It was a while ago but I think most of it is still here. Give me a minute and I’ll look.”

She turned and disappeared further into the house. Negan shoved his cold hands into his pockets and prepared to wait. Fortunately, she returned soon after, arms filled with several spools of different fabrics.

“You mean like this, right?”

Negan smiled. “That is exactly what I was fucking talking about, my dear, thank you.”

She went to hand them to him, only to hesitate. “I can take them to Rick’s house, if you’d like.” She was looking at his belly. “You’re getting bigger all the time.” When she said that, she immediately flushed, not wanting to sound rude. “I’m sorry, I meant-”

“Well it’s the fucking truth, isn’t it? I’m not huge yet but I’m certainly not my glamorous model thin self anymore, am I?”

“I know but-”

“It’s fine, really, I’m fine. I’ve certainly seen the looks, I know I’m quite the spectacle, it’s fucking hard not to comment on it.” He moved forward and took the fabric. “I can handle it, my dear, I will be just fucking dandy.”

Olivia sighed softly but nodded. “If you need anything else, let me know.”

* * *

 

“What the hell are you doing?”

This came from Carl, who proceeded to yawn and stretch his arms above his head. He’d fallen asleep on the couch next to Negan, a comic book in his lap. The hat on his head was slightly askew.

“What does it look like I’m doing, kid?”

“Sewing? Why the fuck are you sewing?”

Negan gave him a look behind his glasses before he returned to his task. He was indeed sewing, and for once it wasn’t on a wound, though that felt almost easier. He had a swath of fabric setting in his lap. He hoped his measurements had been correct or this whole thing was gonna be for nothing.

“Well, I know how to stitch a cut so I figured I could figure out how to sew a piece of clothing.”

“Clothing? For who?”

Negan bit his lip. “Don’t tell your dad, but it’s for your sister.”

 

“Oh. I guess she is always needing new clothes. A lot of hers are fine for a while and then she gets bigger and they don’t fit.”

“Exactly, so I’m doing something about it and making her a little blouse.”

“How do you know it’ll fit?”

“I checked. She’s a heavy sleeper, I didn’t bother her a bit when I took the measurements.”

Carl chuckled. “I better not tell Dad about that either. He likes pretending he thinks you’re going to hurt us, especially Judy, but we all know better.”

Negan looked up. “Then why does he do it?”

Carl shrugged. “It’s hard for him to admit he’s been wrong about you. But he will eventually, I’m sure of it. I mean, if he really hated you, you’d be fucking dead, right?”

Negan sighed. “Right.”

* * *

 

It took him took several weeks to finish the blouse. But by the time he did finish it, it had to be close to what would’ve once been Christmas.

There came a night when they were all inside for once, the snow drifting lazily down from the evening sky. It was after dinner and Carl was perched on the couch, reading a book. Rick had seated himself in front of the fireplace with Judith, smiling softly as she pushed a toy car across the carpet. Negan had mostly kept to himself, as he usually did. Though Rick spoke to him more now, there was still tension between them and Negan tried not to put further stress between them.

But now felt as good a time as any to reveal his gift for the little girl. He excused himself from the room and went to get the article, checking over his work one last time. Coming back downstairs, he made his way over to Rick.

The Alpha looked up at him, expression calm. “What is it?”

Negan chewed his lip, suddenly feeling like his mouth wouldn’t work, which a feeling he didn’t often experience. But he forged ahead anyway, pushing himself to speak.

“I uh, it’s just a coincidence that Christmas would be around this time, but I actually have something for Judith.”

The little girl perked up at the sound of her name. Rick raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And what would that be?”

Negan brought out the shirt from behind his back. It was made of a soft pink fabric, with little purple flowers. It had long sleeves and was decently heavy, making it perfect to wear during this time of the year. As soon as she saw it, Judith let out a squeal that took Negan by surprise.

“Mine?” She chirped, reaching her hands up.

He smiled softly, kneeling down to her level. “Yours.” He promised, giving her the clothing to her.

She immediately brought it to her cheek, admiring the softness against her skin. Rick watched the exchange with an expression Negan didn’t recognize because it was usually directed solely at Judith or Carl, not him too. It was soft and open for once, letting Negan glimpse what was underneath when Rick was normally so guarded.

“You made that, just for her?” He asked, looking almost in slight awe that Negan would do something like that.

The Omega nodded, smiling softly. “Yeah, I uh, figured I should keep trying to make myself useful. Carl said she’s always growing too big for her stuff, so I wanted to help.”

Rick glanced over at his son. Carl said nothing, but seemed to be smiling from behind his bangs.

He looked back at Judith then, kissing her head. “What do you say, sweetheart?”

Judith smiled shyly at Negan before reaching out to brush a hand over his stubbled cheek. “Tank you!”

Negan caught her little hand and pressed a kiss to it. “You’re very welcome, sweetheart.”

“And Daddy’s got something else for you, Judy.” Rick cooed softly, smoothing down her hair.

Both Negan and Judith looked at Rick curiously. She patted his chest. “What, Daddy?”

Rick directly at the other man as he murmured, “You’re going to be a big sister.”

Negan’s eyes widened and Judith blinked. “What you mean?”

Rick smiled at his daughter. “Soon there’ll be a little baby here with us. That baby is going to be your brother or sister.”

“Baby?” She giggled happily.

“Where is baby? Why baby not here now?”

“The baby’s still growing. They’re here.” He lifted her hand and brought it to Negan’s belly. She looked up at Negan with wide eyes. He wasn’t sure if she really understood, but Rick had told her of his own free will and that touched his heart.

He cleared his throat, fighting against the lump that had formed, “Does that mean you know that Carl knows?”

Rick nodded. “He let it slip that he’d figured it out on his own.” He gave a soft sigh. “I suppose you were right, they have the right to know, no matter what because this certainly affects them.”

“Thank you..” Negan murmured softly, looking at Rick like he’d hung the stars in the sky.

Rick shrugged it off. “It’s the right thing to do. I’m sorry I didn’t see that sooner.”

Negan reached to gently place a hand over Rick’s. He was pleased when the other man didn’t flinch or pull away.

“It’s okay Rick, I forgive you.”

* * *

 

“Why don’t you go out very often?”

Negan looked up from his plate of eggs. It was lunchtime but he’d been craving eggs lately so he’d made Rick a sandwich and some scrambled eggs and spam for himself. They were both sitting at the dining table, Negan at the head, the irony of which was not lost on him, with Rick off to his right. The baby monitor sat on the table between them, as Judith was napping upstairs.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not saying you went out a lot before it snowed but now that it’s snowed a good deal, you barely go out, why?”

Negan paused, unsure of how to respond. Should he be honest, or just make up some bullshit excuse?

“I uh, I don’t like the winter, at all. I fucking hate it, actually.”

“Has it always been like that or is it because of the baby?”

Rick had been talking to him a lot, no longer shying away from the topic of their child. He may not explicitly admit that he was the father, but he wasn’t insisting that Negan was the only soon to be parent.

“I think the baby has something to do with it. I’ve really turned my bed into a nest and I don’t like wearing anything that makes me feel the cold, but I didn’t like winter before that.”

Rick finished off his sandwich and washed it down with a glass of water. “Any particular reason why?”

Negan sighed through his nose, tapping his fingers nervously on the table. He hadn’t talked about his mate since he’d mentioned her to Carl when they’d first made spaghetti together. He figured he may as well be honest with Rick.

“My mate...she uh, she got sick. It was little things at first. First, she lost her appetite for all the food she loved. She stopped loving to cook because she didn’t wanna eat whatever she made. She started losing weight because of that. Then she started losing her hair, which was really hard for her. She loved her hair, everyone did. It was thick, wavy and black as night..” He trailed off as her figure flashed before his mind’s eye.

Taking a breath, he set down his fork, not feeling so hungry anymore. “We knew it was bad when she started throwing up anything she did try to eat. I was terrified she was going to starve because she just couldn’t keep food down. So I took her to the hospital. By the time the barrage of tests came back, it was too late to do anything for her. The cancer..it had already spread and there wasn’t a damn thing they could do to stop it.”

He gritted his teeth. “I was terrible to her, fucked up our relationship so many times in so many different ways..but god, I still loved her. Took her being on her deathbed for me to realize it.” Negan lifted his gaze to meet Rick’s blue eyes. “She died three days before Christmas. The world went to shit two weeks later. It was appropriate. My world ended and then so did everything else.”

Negan expected Rick to look at him with pity, like everyone else did when he told that story, not that he exactly went around regaling it for everyone. But oddly enough, that’s not what he saw. There was sympathy there, yes, but also understanding and something else Negan couldn’t quite his finger on. Nonetheless, it felt nice to know Rick didn’t see him as weak for admitting all that.

“I lost my mate too, but in this shitshow, not before. She was pregnant with Judy. We’d thought we’d found safety in a prison. But when we were clearing it out, people got separated. My mate ended up with Carl, and the woman who runs the Hilltop, Maggie. She went into labor right then and something was wrong. The only way to save Judy was to cut her free..there was no way Lori would make it through that. She knew it too, but she told them to do it anyway, she wanted the baby to live that much. Maggie did the procedure itself but Carl...after it was done, there was nothing they could do for her..” Rick’s voice grew thick with emotion, even though this had happened so long ago. “So Carl..he uh..”

“I know, Rick.”

Rick blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Back during the war, when Carl came to Sanctuary, he told me he’d killed his mother. I didn’t know the full story, but he told me.”

“Oh.” Rick swallowed visibly, taking another drink. “I didn’t know that.”

“I’m sorry, Rick, sorry that we’ve both had to go through such a fucking...cluster fuck.”

He nodded. “Me too.”

They were both quiet then, lost in thoughts and memories from a time past.

“I also see the way people look at me.”

Rick tilted his head, “What?”

“When I go outside, it’s like a damn circus sideshow. Everyone fucking stares, more and more with the bigger I get. It normally wouldn’t bother me, normally I wouldn’t give a fuck. But it’s not just me they’re looking down on.” His hand automatically went to his belly. He wouldn’t wish it away for the world, he just wished his look didn’t bring so many unwanted glances. Some weren’t even glances, others openly stared with disgust or anger or a mix of both. He deserved that, but in a way, he didn’t think they’d be so bad if he wasn’t pregnant.

Rick didn’t say anything to that and Negan almost expected it. Of course, Rick probably felt the same way. Negan was just the unwanted freak living under his roof.

“It’s fine..” Negan muttered, pushing away his plate. “It’s fine if you think the same. You’re fucking allowed.”

Rick blinked. “What? What are you talking about?”

“I know you feel the same way as everyone else does, Rick.”

The Alpha immediately shook his head. “That’s not true.”

Negan didn’t seemed convinced. “It’s not?”

“No, it’s not. Now, look at me.”

He sighed, but obeyed and met Rick’s earnest blue eyes. Surprisingly, the other man reached out, taking one of his hands. Negan tried to ignore the way every nerve in his body seemed to light up just from Rick touching him.

“I don’t see you like that, not at all, I promise you.”

“Then how do you see me?”

Rick bit his lip, eyes drifting away to look at the tabletop. He seemed to be thinking of his next words carefully. “I see you as someone who should be here. Who I want here.”

Negan let himself smile faintly. “I want to be here too, fucking truly.”

He didn’t want Rick to let go, but he inevitably did, getting up to put his plate and glass in the sink to be washed.

What Negan didn’t expect was the soft, almost chaste kiss that found his cheek as Rick walked by.


	6. Part 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick and Negan's relationship is about to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to note two things about this verse. First, like my other A/B/O verse, people have sex outside of ruts and heats, there's just not knot or slick involved. And in this it is also possible to mate someone when you're in heat or a rut.

The rest of the winter passed easier now that he and Rick were on better terms. Negan felt more comfortable now, like he belonged under this roof. He felt almost like he had a family again. Rick trusted him with his children enough that he and Carl could leave Judith in his care. It wasn’t easy at first, Negan didn’t have much experience with children, but he figured with a baby on the way, he needed to learn.

For her part, Judith seemed to enjoy being in his presence. She would host tea parties with her dolls and invite him to join. She loved his food, always asking for something of his rather than whatever packaged snack she was offered. She also loved the clothes he continued to make her. Rick informed him that she used to fuss about getting dressed in the morning, but now loved it if she was given one of the clothes Negan had made.

Negan even braved the dreaded snow so Judith could go out and enjoy herself.

It was a good thing, what he had with these people. He knew the others, the ones who glared at him, even when they simply glimpsed him through the window, they didn’t see him any differently. He didn’t expect them to ever change. But Rick didn’t hate him and the other man’s kids liked him, genuinely liked him. It wasn’t perfect, but it was his. It was something, a start and he wasn’t about to take it for granted.

Spring was coming, he could feel it. The weather had been warmer, the snow less frequent. The sun shone down through the windows and Negan smiled softly when it hit his skin. He’d never felt the urge to stretch out in the sunlight like a damn cat before but fuck if he didn’t feel it now.

“How did you sleep?”

Negan’s smile grew wider at the sound of Rick’s voice, still soft and rumbly from sleep. He leaned a hip against the counter as Rick came up beside him.

“Well, thank you for fucking asking, sweetheart. I happened to have slept really fucking well..”

Rick wasn’t totally listening to Negan. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but it was just simply too early in the morning to pay attention what was coming out of the other man’s mouth. Instead, Rick kept himself busy by getting the things needed for the Omega to make everyone breakfast. He gathered up silverware and plates, setting them out. He then went for the cups, which happened to be in a cupboard next to Negan’s head and it was clear the other man wasn’t going to bother moving, too busy animatedly recounting a dream he’d had the night before.

It surprised him when he reached to brush a hand over Negan’s belly as he reached to grab what he needed. The touch lingered, almost a caress, before he realized what he was doing. By then Negan had stopped talking, both of them frozen in place by this simple touch. Rick pulled his hand away then, breath catching in his throat as he quickly turned and set the cups down. Negan watched him but said nothing, for once at a loss for words. Rick bit his lip before hesitantly turning back. He couldn’t help it, he reached out and placed both hands on Negan’s belly. He’d never done this before, had certainly thought about it but never done it. It was almost liberating, letting himself touch like this.

“Does..Do they ever move? I mean, they must, this far along, right?”

Negan still looked like he almost didn’t believe what he was seeing. It took him a long moment to gather his thoughts enough to try and respond. But as soon as he went to open his mouth, the baby answered for him, shifting and kicking against Rick’s palm. Negan’s heart felt like it might give out when he saw the soft smile that came to Rick’s face.

But the Alpha held more surprises.

“Hey there, sweetheart..” His thumbs made gentle circles over the bump. “I bet you were listening this whole time, weren’t you? Little eavesdropper.” Negan didn’t think he’d ever seen Rick’s eyes light up the way they did now. “You are loved, little one.” Rick murmured. “Your daddies love you so much.”

“I love you..both of you..” Negan’s voice came out whisper soft, not wanting to disturb the moment. He didn’t know where he’d gotten the guts to say that out loud, but it was the truth. He loved this baby and he loved Rick just as much.

The Alpha lifted his gaze, hands stilling. For a long moment, Negan was afraid he’d crossed a line, that Rick was going to yell or possibly punch him in the face. Images of his first night in this house, when Rick had threatened him, flashed before him. But the eyes that met his weren’t filled with venom like they’d once been. Rick’s cerulean core was warm and held affection that Negan wasn’t used to being trained on him. It made the Omega’s throat clog with unsaid emotion.

“I know.” Rick straightened, taking a step closer to Negan, even more in his space than he was before. The Alpha longed to press himself against the other man fully, but Negan’s belly got between them. That was okay, Rick liked feeling the life that had grown because of their time together.

“Does that mean..?” Negan couldn’t finish the sentence, as though saying the words out loud might somehow cause them to be untrue. He hoped Rick understood what he was asking.

He was met was a nod, Rick’s hand coming to touch his cheek, fingertips grazing the bit of beard he’d been sporting all winter.

Negan bit his lip. “I-I need to hear you say it.”

Rick’s eyes were on his lips now. His hand moved, thumb dragging over Negan’s bottom lip. The longer they stood like this, the closer they got to each other, until there was barely enough air between them to breathe properly.

“You are so beautiful..and I love you.” When Rick spoke, their lips brushed faintly. Negan couldn’t help the soft whine that left him.

That was enough to push Rick into motion, crashing their mouths together. Negan gave an utterly pleased sigh out through his nose. He’d been waiting a very long time to finally kiss Rick, since before they had laid together in his heat months ago. And fuck, was he not disappointed. Rick’s lips were as soft as they were firm, slightly chapped but talented nonetheless.

In no time, Negan was flooded with a sense of contentment, like he could stand to be like this forever, hands going to Rick’s hips to bring him closer. Again, his belly kept them from truly getting as close as possible, but neither really cared. Rick’s fingers tangled in Negan’s hair as he pressed him back against the counter, his tongue eagerly exploring Negan’s parted lips.

The Omega moaned softly, feeling his body begin to react. It was amazing how easily excited he got now. He supposed that was just something else that came with being pregnant. Before, he’d always distracted himself or taken care of the problem with his hands, but now, maybe he wouldn’t have to settle for calming his desire on his own. One of Rick’s hands drifted lower, taking a moment to reverently drag over his belly before moving further, rubbing against the burgeoning erection between Negan’s legs.

“I get you that excited, that quick? Is it always like that or just because of the baby?” Rick wondered, moving to mouth at Negan’s jaw.

The taller man let out a breathless laugh. “Oh fucking trust me, it’s always fucking like that with you.”

Rick let out a deep purr, massaging the growing hardness. If he had his way, he was going to bend Negan over right there on the kitchen counter. He leaned up for another kiss, grinding his hips against Negan, wanting him to know that he was just as affected by all this.

“Hey, what’s for..”

The sound of Carl’s voice penetrated the air between them and before Negan could realize what was happening, Rick was jerking back, putting several feet between them.

Carl, for his part, didn’t look surprised in the least. But as he began to apologize, Rick was suddenly rushing from the room, grabbing his coat from the hook and throwing the door open, like he couldn’t stand to be in the house for a second longer.

Negan ducked his head as the door slammed shut. It felt like when Rick had left him the first time all over again.

“He’ll be back.”

Negan looked over at Carl, raising an eyebrow.

“Dad tends to overthink stuff like this. He just needs time to think and get over himself. He’ll be back.” Carl seemed confident as he set about getting himself something for breakfast.

Negan wasn’t sure he believed that. He knew he was supposed to make food for everyone but his stomach was the last thing on his mind right now.

With a mumbled apology, he excused himself from the room.

* * *

 

Negan went to go back to the nest he’d made in his room, but found himself drawn to Rick’s room instead. One step inside and he could smell the scent of the Alpha. It was comforting, helped ease the pressure in his chest, so he quickly came inside and closed the door. He didn’t think Carl would mind if he saw him in here, but he also didn’t want to take the chance and be disturbed.

Rick’s room was rather unassuming. He didn’t keep many personal tokens around. The walls and dresser were bare. But that didn’t bother Negan. Even with the peace after the war, you never knew when you were going to have give up what little luxury you had, so getting attached to your living space wasn’t exactly a good idea.

The bed was slightly bigger than the one in his room, but had the same sort of bedspread. Negan moved forward, easing himself onto it. He’d gotten big enough that even this task was a little cumbersome, but he settled on his back right in the middle. Resting his head on the pillows, he was overwhelmed with the feeling that this is where he belonged. Not just in this house, but here, in Rick’s bed. This was definitely where he wanted to be.

As his mind began to wander, replaying the moment in the kitchen, he couldn’t help it when his desire began to rise again. All he had to do was think about Rick and he felt himself become aroused. If he wasn’t already pregnant, he wouldn’t have been surprised if his encounter with Rick had sent him into another heat. Nonetheless, he couldn’t ignore the way his cock throbbed with every shift of his hips, couldn’t just brush off the want deep in his bones. This time, he was sure he couldn’t just will it away.

The sound of Carl gathering up his sister and leaving the house was enough to give himself permission.

He was still wearing the clothes he’d slept in, a simple oversized t shirt and sweatpants. It was one of the few things that fit him anymore. He didn’t bother getting out of the shirt, but he shoved the pants and underwear down, exposing his swollen cock to the cool air, sending a shiver down his spine. Fuck, did Rick have any lube in here? He reached a hand out and pawed through the nightstand, letting out a relieved sigh when he found a bottle. He quickly squeezed some onto his palm and spent a few moments just enjoying the slick slide of his dick in his hand.

He knew it was kind of cliched and selfish, but Negan liked his cock quite a bit compared to other parts of his body. It wasn’t a big as an Alpha’s necessarily, but it was bigger than most Omegas and he couldn’t help feeling a little gifted in that department.

This only satisfied him for a minute or two though, a slightly annoyed grunt leaving his mouth. Carefully, he turned halfway on his side, grabbing the lube and spreading some on his fingers. He caught his lip between his teeth when his slick fingertips found his entrance. He simply teased at first, wanting to get himself nice and relaxed. He let out a sigh when he sank the first digit in, quickly followed by a second. It wasn’t what he really wanted, wasn’t Rick’s cock, but it helped take the edge off.

He went slow, wanting to drag it out. His eyes closed, groaning when he pressed in a third finger, imagining what wasn’t there. He began to pump his fingers in earnest, brushing that sweet spot inside him now and then. He could feel his cock leaking onto the sheets. His free hand moved under his shirt, moaning as he found a nipple.

“Oh god, Rick..”

“I’m right here, sweetheart.”

Negan choked on another groan, hand stilling, eyes flying open. He hadn’t even heard the door, too caught up in his fantasy. For a moment he thought he had imagined it, but no, Rick was here, standing in the doorway. His cheeks were pink from being outside, but he’d shed his coat and Negan had a feeling the way he was panting softly was not from running.

“Y-You came back..” Negan’s voice sounded absolutely wrecked. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t want to stop, not when he was so damn hard, so utterly fucking turned on.

“I needed to clear my head. I’m sorry I left you like that.” Rick closed the door, moving toward the bed.

“S’fine..” Negan’s eyes tracked his movements, breath coming out shaky and uneven.

“You always think about me when you do this?” Rick wondered, standing at the foot of the bed now.

Negan tried to ignore the embarrassed way his cheeks burned at the question. He was usually so without shame, but Rick affected him like nobody else. He nodded nonetheless, removing his hands from his body and laying back so he could meet Rick’s gaze.

“You really are a fucking beautiful sight.” Negan wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, but he certainly didn’t expect Rick to take his hand and press his lube slick fingers past his lips. He sucked and licked the digits clean like it was a damn lollipop.

When he pulled back, he was smirking. “But I think you taste even better.”

In that moment, Negan was sure he made a noise that sounded like he swallowed his own tongue.

“Do you still want me?” Rick asked then, pressing a kiss to his wrist, looking like he was about to kiss his way to Negan’s lips right then.

“Have since I first laid eyes on you. Fucking need you, Alpha.” Negan admitted. He unconsciously canted his hips forward, searching for something, friction of any kind. He turned his head, offering his neck in submission.

The sound that left Rick was something between a growl and a purr. He moved swiftly, plastering himself against the other man as he kissed him. Again, he was hindered by Negan’s stomach but made it work anyway, lust and want already humming through his veins.

“Gonna make you feel so fucking good, sweetheart, gonna make up for the way I treated you, how blind I’ve been.”

He licked his way into Negan’s mouth, swallowing down soft pants and moans. He felt Negan’s fingers thread into his curls then slide between them, clearly wanting to get Rick out of his clothes. Rick pulled back, long enough to help Negan get his shirt off before latching onto his neck, giving him all the marks he wished he’d given him before. Negan’s eyes fell closed, but his hands didn’t stop, going to Rick’s pants. He immediately undid the button and zipper, shoving his hand inside. Rick gave a jerk at the sudden touch but didn’t stop.

“Fucking fuck, Rick..You have no fucking idea how much I think about your dick..” Negan breathed, a grin spreading across his face when said dick twitched in his hand. He loved how thick it was, couldn’t wait to finally have it inside him again. He quickly pushed down Rick’s pants and underwear, practically purring when he felt their cocks brush.

Negan made an unhappy sound when Rick pulled away again. The Alpha shushed him quietly. “We’re both way too dressed, don’t you think?”

He very well couldn’t argue with that, so Negan let him go, watching as he kicked off his pants and then slid out of his shirt. Rick helped Negan next, smiling when he got the other man completely naked. Rick found Negan’s mouth again, hands going to his chest to toy with each nipple. Negan jolted like he’d been shocked, moaning openly against Rick’s lips. This pleased the Alpha, seeing how much he could affect his partner. He was grinning as he leaned down to wrap his mouth around one of the buds. The cry that Negan made was loud and obscene and Rick was suddenly grateful that his kids were out of the house.

“Fucking shit, Rick..”

 

“Almost forgot how loud you are, sweetheart.” Negan managed to chuckle only to end in a groan as Rick switched to the other nipple.

“You like that, huh? Like when I fucking moan for you?”

“Just as much as you love having me pressed against you.” Rick responded, mouth beginning to drift lower.

Negan expected Rick to bypass his belly completely, but instead the Alpha stopped, hands resting on the bump. He had that look on his face again, all soft edges and utter happiness. It made Negan’s heart beat in a way that no amount of sex ever could. “Fuck, I love you..”

Rick looked up at that, smiling softly. “But it’s only because I gave you this, right?” He brushed his thumb across his belly, indicating that by ‘this’, he meant the baby.

Negan shook his head. “I think I felt it long before that. I think I loved you even when you hated me. Everything that’s fucking happened, us being together and then everything that’s come after..I would’ve settled for fucking nothing at all, for simply fucking seeing you on a regular basis everyday..I never dreamed in a million fucking years that I’d get to be here with you now, like this. Ever since I moved in here, I haven’t taken a single fucking thing for granted.”

Rick’s smile turned slightly melancholy. “I’m sorry for the shit I put you through.”

Negan gave a rather undignified snort. “Quit fucking apologizing, Grimes. I deserved everything you dished out, and frankly, I still do.”

That’s where Rick disagreed. “In the past, yes, but now? You’ve changed and so have I. And I don’t want to think about how things used to be. I’m happy with the way things are right now.”

He ducked his head, pressing a kiss to Negan’s swollen stomach. He smiled even more when he felt a little bump in return. “You and this baby, you’re family. I love you both.”

“Then show me, Alpha.”

Rick’s smile turned into a smirk. “Well, when you ask so nicely..”

He took Negan’s cock in hand, and his intentions were clear when he tongue darted out to wet his lips. Within moments he had Negan almost all the way down his throat, causing the man above him to cry out.

“ _Rick_!” Negan had no idea Rick even possessed this ability but it was like his mouth was made for sucking cock, knowing exactly how to get Negan’s heart rate to spike and his breathing to become erratic.

“Rick, fucking shit, you-you gotta..I’m gonna..” He tried to push Rick off of him. “Only wanna when cum when you’re inside me, Alpha, please..”

That got Rick’s attention. He slowly pulled back, licking the precome from his lips. “If that’s what you want, then that’s what you’ll have.”

He sat up, grabbing the lube and readying his cock. Negan watched with half lidded eyes, spreading his legs wider in anticipation. Rick pressed himself against him, eyes rovering over Negan’s body, taking in every inch.

“It’s amazing how beautiful you compared to all the decay that waits outside these walls.”

Negan made a quiet, ‘oh’ when he was finally penetrated, wanting to close his eyes but also not wanting to tear his gaze away from Rick’s face. The other man looked like he’d never felt anything better than the tight heat that was Negan’s body.

“Move,” Negan breathed, rocking his hips in an effort to get what he craved, “fucking _fuck_ me, Rick. Not gonna fall apart.”

The Alpha nodded, reaching to take Negan’s hands and pin them above his head as he began to fuck the other man in earnest, lip twitching to expose fangs.

For a moment, Negan remembered the last time this had happened and how Rick had bared those same teeth in warning, ready to hurt him. This time was completely different. Every thrust had Negan’s cock bumping between Rick’s belly and his own swollen one, reminding them both what had occurred during their first time together. That reminder only seemed to spur Rick to go faster, thrust harder, determined to make Negan fall apart.

This time when Negan reached for Rick, he came willingly, and they kissed again and again as the Omega wound his legs around Rick’s waist, pulling him in closer. Rick’s mouth moved from Negan’s lips to his jaw and then down his neck, warm breath fanning across his collarbone. Negan was already close, getting ever near the edge each time the head of Rick’s cock brushed his prostate, making him moan out loudly. He could feel his own dick dribbling precome, slicking over Rick’s flat stomach.

He felt a graze of lips on his shoulder, near the base of his neck. Before he realized what was happening, Rick had let out a growl and sank his teeth into Negan’s neck, eyes flashing red as he claimed the Omega as his mate. Negan shouted Rick’s name, shuddering as he came apart, splattering cum onto both of them. Blood welled from the wound on his shoulder, making sure that it would scar. It stained Rick’s teeth and Negan caught the metallic taste on his tongue when Rick kissed him.

“Cum inside me, Rick, make me yours in every way..”

Rick thrust once, twice, before letting out a deep, animalistic moan, the sound of a proud Alpha mounting his mate, filling Negan with his seed.

It took him several moments before he released his grip on Negan’s hands. He pressed several soft kisses to his lips, nuzzling his cheek, a contented purr coming from his throat. Rick had to coax himself into pulling out, not wanting to lose the feeling.

He collapsed beside Negan then, opening his arms so the other could burrow into his touch.

“You..I’m your..”

“Say it. I don’t regret it.”

Negan smiled faintly. “I’m your mate.”

“That’s how it should’ve been, for a long time now.”

Negan was inclined to agree. He reached up to touch the fresh bite, on his neck. It was only then that he realized something. He reached with the other hand to touch the other side of his neck.

“You-You..” He couldn’t believe it. No matter how much he tried to fight it, he felt the prickling sensation of tears at his eyes.

“I know how much she meant to you.” Rick murmured, lips finding Negan’s forehead. Negan couldn’t stop touching. On one side of his neck was Rick’s fresh, still slightly bloody mating mark. But on the other side, old and faded, was his mating mark from Lucille. He was sure Rick would’ve covered it with his own but he hadn’t. He’d known that this was one of the only things he still had left of his first mate. It was a simple gesture, but spoke volumes about who Rick was as a person.

“Thank you. I would’ve understood if you’d done it, but thank you for not.”

Rick ran a hand through Negan’s hair, smoothing down the now messy locks. “You’re mine now. Nobody can take that away from you. Our child will have a family.”

“That’s all I ever fucking wanted. You and Carl and Judy and this baby.”

Rick kissed him again, slow and sweet, keeping their foreheads pressed together when they finally parted. Silence followed, but there was a sense of peace in it.

“Does it hurt?”

Negan opened his eyes from where he’d begun to doze off. “Hm?”

“The baby, when they kick, does it hurt?”

As if on queue, when Rick touched Negan’s bare belly, the little one inside squirmed and bumped near his open palm.

Negan smiled softly. “Not especially. It feels a little weird. The first time it happened though, it scared the shit outta me. Thought I was fucking dying or some shit. They do like to hit near my fucking bladder though, so I feel like I constantly gotta piss, which is, ya know, fucking great.”

At that, they both dissolved into laughter, content to lay in bed until sleep overcame them.


	7. Part 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick's past promises catch up with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for my lack of updates on basically everything. This last month or so has been really difficult for me and at one point I had stopped writing altogether. I also apologize if the length and quality of this chapter is lacking compared to the others.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, what does it look like I'm doing, sweetheart?"

Judith tilted her head to one side, an almost mirror image of the same motion her father would make on occasion, studying Negan as he knelt in the dirt.

"Are you making mud pies?"

He chuckled softly in response, digging deeper with his trowel. If only Lucille could see him now, down in the soil toiling away like a common peasant, she'd never have believed her eyes.

"I am not, I am actually planting something for your Daddy," He responded, gesturing to the sunflower standing in a pot beside him. Judith came closer, her schoolbag slung over her shoulder. Carl had just walked her home from school, mentioning something about meeting up with Enid before wandering off in the direction of her house. The sunflower stood a good foot taller than Judith, so she peered up at it, squinting in the sunlight.

"It's pretty flower," She commented, reaching out with a gentle hand to touch her fingertips to the stalk. "Where'd you get it?" She wondered, looking down at Negan where he continued to dig a place in the ground for the plant.

"I found it growing by the back wall. Nobody seemed to be too interested in it, so I spent all day digging it up, putting it in the pot and bringing it back here. Now I'm gonna plant the slender lady right here where we can admire her everyday."

"It's a girl?" Judith questioned curiously. 

"I thought so, but I suppose she, or they rather, can be whatever they please, don't you think?"

Judith nodded. "Sometimes I'm a boy." She blurted out before shrugging.

Negan blinked, looking up from his work. "Oh? Are you..okay, with that?"

Judith shrugged again. "I don't mind. I'm just me. I'm like this flower. I'm whoever I wanna be, isn't that what Daddy always says?"

"He does indeed. As long as you're happy, sweetness, that's all that matters."

Judith smiled, plopping down next to him. "I'm happy," She chirped, "Can I help?"

"You certainly may. Here," He offered her the trowel, "we gotta dig a little deeper yet before we can put the flower in." 

Judith turned out to be an enthusiastic helper. She dug into the dirt like she was being paid, eagerly watching as Negan carefully lifted the sunflower from its pot and settled it into its new home. He then instructed the little girl on how to cover the roots with more dirt so they could take hold.

When they were finished, Negan carefully rose to his feet and they took a moment to admire their work. Judith even ran into the house so they could get a little water to feed the flower. 

"They're beautiful!" She exclaimed, beaming up at Negan. 

"They are, aren't they? I hope they're happy in their new home." 

"Their name is Frances."

Negan blinked. "Come again?"

"Frances. That's the flower's name."

Negan pursed his lips, giving the flower one last glance. He supposed it did kind of look like a Frances.

"Alright sweetheart, let's give Frances some room to breath while we go in the house to get cleaned up, okay?"

"Kay!" Judith promptly bolted into the house, dragging her book bag behind her. Negan followed, albeit at a slower pace, rubbing out the kinks in his lower back. The baby was really starting to weigh down on him and he found that most every part of his body hurt at some point these days. Not that he complained. Much. But it only worked when Rick was around, as the other man would feel guilty and allow him a back rub that usually turned into something more. Since it was just him and Judith, there was no point in mentioning it. 

"How about you take off your shoes and then go upstairs to wash, hm?"

"Will you find me some clean clothes, please?" The ones Judith was currently wearing had dirt stains on them.

Negan sighed and waved a hand toward the stairs. "Go on, I'll see what I can do." 

She darted up the stairs and Negan moved after her, taking each step with much less vigor. He could swear that being pregnant made him feel about twenty years older. He was no spring chicken but he felt like an old man every time he moved now. It was more than a little depressing. 

Nonetheless, he went into Judith's room, the first door on the right, while she went into the last door at the end of the hall, no longer needing a stool to reach the sink as she washed up. Negan opened her dresser and began to dig through it, easily pulling out an outfit that was both clean and looked presentable. He stepped out of the room, heading down the hall and placing the clothes on the sink as Judith washed her hands.

"Go ahead and change and then I'll see about making you something to eat."

She nodded dutifully, and Negan closed the door to give her some privacy. He moved to head back downstairs when he heard the front door slam from below him. That was odd, he didn't figure Carl would be back so soon and Rick was supposed to taking care of a bunch of leader shit with the other heads of the colonies. He wasn't supposed to be back until around dinner time and that was if things didn't run over.

Just then there was another slam and that's when the yelling started.

"I don't understand, Rick! We had a plan! Why can't you just stick to that plan?!"

Negan swallowed and stopped himself at the top of the stairs, just out of sight. That was Maggie Rhee's voice. She was the leader of the Hilltop and as far as she was concerned, he deserved to be dead. When the war had ended, she had disagreed with Rick's decision to put him in prison. Apparently that wasn't all she disagreed with.

"I know we did, but things change and a lot has changed, you have to try and understand that, please."

That was Rick's voice, his calm, leadership voice. It sounded strained though, like he was getting nowhere in trying to convince her to see his side of things. 

"Oh yeah, I know how things changed. How could you do this? That thing, that monster, he killed Abraham, he killed Glenn and his people slaughtered countless others! How can you just look past that?!"

Negan felt his stomach twist uncomfortably. They were talking about him. Of course they were.

"Because, like I said, things change, people change." He heard Rick inhale deeply. "I've changed. He's changed. You of all people should know that, you have former Saviors living at the Hilltop. I'm sure they've done awful things, we've all done awful things, just to survive. But we're all trying to move past that, to move forward. You don't treat those Saviors any different than the others, do you? You don't automatically assume the worst of them, do you?"

"Rick, you know that's different -"

"How is that any different than what I'm talking about? Yes, what he did was comparatively worse than what the rest of his people did. But that doesn't mean he can't change just like anybody else."

"The only reason you believe that is because you knocked him up. It's because you feel guilty, don't you?"

Negan felt his heart lurch. What if all this was just because Rick felt responsible for what they'd created? 

"What I feel for him is not out of guilt! I would never do any of the things I've done out of guilt."

Negan closed his eyes, feeling relief wash over him.

"Fine, whatever your reason, all of this could be solved if you'd just stick to the plan."

"I won't do that, I won't. I won't throw him back in jail after having given birth and then just take our child! I won't do it!"

Negan's eyes snapped open. That was the plan? To rip his child away from him and put him back in prison? He tried to swallow but found a lump had formed in his throat. He suddenly felt like his legs could no longer support his weight and that he might sink to the floor right there. 

"You don't love him..you can't really love him. You're his mate out of pity, I know it."

"If you really think that, then Maggie, I'm sorry, but you don't know me at all."

There was a long lapse of silence. When Maggie spoke again, her words were filled with venom and a deep, echoing pain. "I'm glad you chose him over your own family, Rick." The next sound that could be heard was that of her throwing open the door and exiting down the front steps.

Negan felt numb, like his whole world has suddenly been thrown into a tailspin. Rick had planned to take his only child from him, while his body was vulnerable and recovering, while he couldn't fight back. It was like someone had grabbed him by the throat and was choking the life out of him. 

Blindly, he moved himself forward and down the stairs, eyes looked on Rick, who had his back turned. The other man looked back when he heard the movement behind him.

"Negan? I-I didn't hear you, you said you were going to go for a walk earlier, so I figured you were still out."

"Yeah, that would've been awfully fucking convenient for you, wouldn't it?"

Rick blinked, before it dawned on him that his conversation with Maggie hadn't been as private as he thought. 

"I take it you were eavesdropping."

"And it's a good fucking thing I did. Were you ever going to tell me what you had fucking planned for me? For our fucking child?!"

"You don't understand-"

Negan gritted his teeth. "Oh I think I understand fucking perfectly. Everything, all of this, was all started on a goddamn lie."

"Please, just let me explain-"

"I don't wanna fucking hear anything you have to fucking say! It doesn't fucking matter that you're not gonna do it anymore, you still fucking agreed to it! You still were gonna fucking let it happen! It's only after you decided I was fucking worth saving, worth having in your bed, that I get to fucking keep my only fucking child!" Negan clenched his fists at his sides, wanting for Lucille in his hands for the first time in a long time. Of course he wouldn't hurt Rick, he wasn't capable of that anymore, but there was plenty of things around him that he could take his anger out on.

Before Rick could open his mouth to try and say anything else, Negan was turning away and heading back up the stairs.

"What are you doing?" Rick asked, following after his mate. Negan cursed under his breath, wishing he could move faster. He didn't answer, his intention becoming clear when he entered their shared bedroom.

"Negan..Negan, please, don't do this."

Negan didn't respond, only glancing at Rick long enough to shoot him a glare before shouldering past him to start packing a bag.

"Don't do this, we can talk this out."

"Fuck you, I didn't want to fucking talk. I don't want to be anywhere fucking near you," He growled, throwing some clean clothes into a pack. 

"But where are you going to go?"

"I don't know! Anywhere but fucking here!"

"Daddy..?"

They both turned, seeing Judith standing in her new change of clothes, looking nervously between them. "What's going on?" She asked softly. 

Negan's expression softened a little as he closed his bag. He shouldered it before moving to crouch down to Judith's level.

"I uh, I've gotta go away for a while, Judy. But don't worry, I'll stop by and see you often, I promise, okay?" 

Judith bit her lip, her eyes welling with tears. "I don't want you to go. You belong here, with Daddy and Carl and me!"

"She's right." Rick murmured but when he attempted to get closer, Negan looked at him with such contempt that he took a step back.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but I need to do this. Now, can I have a hug?" 

Judith didn't hesitate, flinging herself into Negan's arms. He held her close, noticing how her little hands came to stroke over his swollen belly. "Goodbye, Negan.." She lifted her head to look at him before looking down at his stomach. "Bye, baby.." She murmured, sadness clear in her voice. With one last touch to his bump, she let go, turning quickly as her tears spilled over. Hearing her cries carry down the hall made Negan feel like absolute shit. She was just a kid and he hated seeing her so upset. To be honest, he still expected everyone to hate him, especially people that were nothing but good. 

"You didn't have to do that, you didn't have to put her through that." Rick's voice pulled him back to the present and within seconds his anger was overwhelming him again.

"If you had not done what you fucking did, then none of this would have had to happen," He hissed under his breath, rising and walking out the door without giving Rick a backward glance. Naturally, his mate followed but they both knew the only way Negan was going to stay is if Rick asserted himself as the Alpha and forced him to stay. 

But he wouldn't do that. He knew better than to try and make Negan do something he didn't want to do, especially when he was angry. It was like trying to rein in a hurricane, there was simply no point, it was impossible. Still, he couldn't watch his mate walk away without saying something.

"I was wrong. I know that now. To even think of what I had planned as anything but cruel was nothing but wrong. And I'm sorry, Negan. You have to believe me when I say that."

Negan stopped, standing on the porch. He didn't look at Rick when he spoke. "And if you're really sorry, then you'll understand why I can't be around you." 

A muscle in Rick's jaw twitched. "Is this forever?"

Negan's eyes closed briefly before he answered softly, "It might be."

He couldn't talk about this anymore, he just wanted to get away. Every second he was with Rick felt like an eternity, like time had slowed to a crawl. So Negan made his way down the stairs and onto the street, unsure of his destination. 

Rick watched him go, until he lost sight of his retreating back. As he went inside his home, he couldn't help the loud, twisted sound of grief he let out. 

* * *

 

Negan tried to ignore the ugly looks he was receiving as he walked. There was no way to avoid them so he simply refused to acknowledge them, instead continuing to put one foot in front of the other.

In the end, he found himself in front of the pantry. He hadn't even realized that this was where he had been going. He hesitated a moment before deciding he really had no other choice. He went inside, knocking on the door that led into the house it was attached to. Olivia answered after only a few seconds. She looked surprised to see him, to say the least.

"Hi. Do you need something?"

Negan sighed heavily, giving a nod. "Yes. I uh, I need some place to stay. And look, I totally fucking get it if you don't want me here, that's fucking fine, I'll go somewhere else, but I'm pretty fucking sure this is one of the only places in all of the fucking colonies that's safe for me."

Olivia assessed him quietly, arms crossed over her chest. For a long moment, she said nothing before she finally relaxed her stance a little and stepped aside.

"I think I can find some room for you. Come in."


	8. Part 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Children will come no matter if their parents are ready or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't know how I managed this. I have been in such a bad place lately and writing has been so hard that I am honestly so surprised I got this done. I hope it lives up to what everyone wanted, I tried my best. Thank you all for continuing to read, even as I've lapsed in updates. It means the world to me.

It had been almost a week since Negan had seen Rick. To say he was enjoying the separation would’ve been a lie, no one wanted to be away from their mate like this. 

 

Olivia had found a place for him in the guest room upstairs. It wasn’t much, a room and bed half as big as he was used to. But it was somewhere he could stay while he tried to figure out his next move. At first, he told his host nothing about what had happened, but she was having none of that. She made it clear that if he were to stay here, she at least deserved to know what had driven him out of Rick’s house. 

 

So he detailed what happened and suddenly his melancholy demeanor made a lot more sense. She was easier on him after that, trying to coax him into eating and getting out of bed. But that was a lot more difficult than it seemed. He didn’t want to do anything. He ate solely because the baby would suffer too, not just him if he stopped, and he often had to force himself into doing basic things like smiling and speaking. The baby seemed to sense his distress, as the child soon began to fidget and shift inside him, unable to keep still for long. Negan tried to keep calm, trying to soothe himself so the baby wouldn’t be upset, but it was difficult, especially when Rick ended up at Olivia’s door on several occasions. 

 

Each time, she turned him away when Negan refused to come see him. Negan knew he was being unreasonable, but he just couldn’t get past Rick’s breach of trust. Maybe if he had been upfront about it, maybe then it wouldn’t have hurt so badly, but Negan was doubtful. He wasn’t sure there was any way that hearing his mate planned to take away his only child would ever be like anything but a knife in the back. 

 

When dawn broke exactly a week after Negan’s departure, he immediately sensed something was wrong the moment he woke up. For one, he was drenched in sweat and his whole body felt like one big exposed nerve, every slight movement, even his own intake of breath felt like hot fire. It was the worst in his back, like someone was trying to carve out his spine with a rusty shard of metal. It was then that he realized not all the moisture soaking into the sheets was sweat. His water had broken sometime while he slept. That explained why the worst of the pain came in waves, each worse than the last. Carefully, he tried to sit up but every move made him cry out. Apparently he was loud enough to alert Olivia. 

 

One whiff of the scent in the air and she knew what was happening. She may have been a beta, but one remembered scents all their life once they were taken into memory. There was something else she smelled. The musk of blood was increasing. 

 

“We need to get you to infirmary.” She was at his side in a moment, though she wasn’t sure with her size and stature, if she could be of much use. 

 

Negan wasn’t about to argue. He managed to get his feet on the floor and took her offered hand. She did her best to help him up and shoulder his weight while they headed to the door and toward the stairs. 

 

Every step was agony. It was like Negan’s own body was rebelling against every move, making it difficult to take each step. But he was not gonna allow himself to bleed out. It was one thing if he died, he’d long since faced his own morality, and though he certainly would rather avoid death, he was sure as hell not going to condemn his only child to the same fate. 

 

They managed to make it down the stairs and out of the house, heading up the street. Luckily the infirmary wasn’t far. Negan winced when he looked down, seeing his bottom half soaked with blood. 

 

Their trek didn’t go unnoticed. Several people looked on, many with disdain, none coming forward to help. Olivia forged on, despite the strain she was under. 

 

Negan had been so focused on trying not to let his knees give out that he jumped in surprise when another pair of arms wrapped around him. He was expecting Rick, already prepared to jerk away when he noticed the long beard and equally long hair, the latter wrapped up in a bun perched atop his head. It was easy for Negan to recall his name. You never really forgot about somebody named Jesus. 

 

He must’ve been visiting Alexandria. Negan had heard from Rick that he was now with Aaron, who moved to the Hilltop after the death of his husband in the war. Negan had definitely not expected him to help, but his calm temperament and forgiveness toward others was infamous. He demonstrated that as he took most of Negan’s weight off of Olivia. 

 

“Go, tell Siddiq to get the infirmary ready.”

 

“He’s here? I thought he wasn’t supposed to be around for another couple of days.” Olivia appeared confused. 

 

Jesus glanced at Negan before replying, “Rick asked for him to come early. He uh, he knew this was going to happen soon and wanted to be prepared.”

 

Negan said nothing. It didn’t ease the hurt in his heart, but he was grateful that his mate had enough foresight to get the best equipped doctor in the colony so that he was ready when they needed him. 

 

Olivia nodded then and hurried off toward the large building that housed Alexandria’s infirmary. Jesus, for his part, held Negan’s frame a lot easier than Olivia. Their journey gained a bit of speed, though Negan had to stop every so often to fight another contraction. Jesus’s presence was at least calming, an Alpha taking control of a situation as he was meant to. The scent he gave off slowed Negan’s pounding heart a little and seemed to soothe the unhappy motions of the baby for the moment. 

 

It took another ten minutes but finally they were inside and Negan was allowed to settle onto one of the cots. Siddiq was there, as were a couple of other assistants Negan didn’t recognize, along with Olivia. They insisted he lay back and Siddiq was on him in moments, checking his vital signs. 

 

“Someone should get Rick.” Siddiq said as he wrapped a blood pressure cuff around Negan’s arm. 

 

The Omega immediately pulled away, shaking his head vehemently. “No,” He groaned, voice beginning to tremble. “I don’t want him here. I don’t want him near me.” 

 

“Okay, okay, but you need to try and keep calm.” Siddiq urged, doing his best to exude calm and it seemed Jesus was doing the same, though Olivia gave off a scent of concern. 

 

Negan closed his eyes and leaned back, trying to breath normally and ignore the searing pain still wracking his body. Siddiq continued to examine him, though he was kind enough to cover his lower half so he wasn’t exposed to the others. 

 

He was so tired, just making it here had taken what felt like an immense amount of energy. The child was moving again, as though they were aware of their own impending birth. 

 

Negan was so disoriented and exhausted that he didn’t notice when Jesus quietly exited the room. He only opened his eyes again when a familiar scent came to him. 

 

He hissed and pushed himself to the other side of the bed, as far as away from Rick as he could get, though his body begged for the opposite. He didn’t see him for a moment, not until Jesus reappeared with him in tow. 

 

“No! I said I don’t want him here and I fucking don’t! Get him out!” Negan yelled this, even as another wave of pain sliced through him, his own words trembling. 

 

Rick’s expression was one of worry and masked pain, his fingers twitching at his sides. He wanted to be closer, but every time he took a step in Negan’s direction, the Omega shrank away. 

 

“Please,” Rick implored, “you can’t expect me to just stay away when this is happening. This is our child.” 

 

“You should’ve fucking thought of that before!” Negan ground out, heart still aching and bloody from Rick’s betrayal. 

 

“Rick, either you both remain calm or I need you to leave. He can’t continue to be so upset.” Siddiq looked meaningfully between them both. 

 

“Please,” Rick repeated to Negan, putting his hands up in a placating gesture as he came closer. “I am not here to make things worse. I just want to be here for you, for this. Please let me.” 

 

Negan bit down hard on his lip. He was still so angry, had always had a hard time with letting things go, had a tendency to act as though everything was forgiven, only to take revenge later, but now his body couldn’t stand another moment away from Rick. He  _ ached  _ with the need to have his mate close, especially now. No Omega wanted to go through this alone. 

 

Swallowing down his anger, he turned his head to bare his mating mark and reach a hand out toward Rick, showing he would submit to this plea. Rick immediately moved to his side, taking his hand. He used his other to touch the other man’s face, fingers stroking across week old stubble. “It’s gonna be okay.” He murmured, his tone resolute and without fear, something Negan had always admired when they had faced off in the past. Negan let out something that was supposed to be a laugh. “I wish I believed you.” 

 

Rick didn’t respond to that, simply pressing a kiss to Negan’s head, his scent exuding a sense of calm to everyone in the room. 

 

Siddiq finished his examination and quietly informed everyone that the they needed to do a c-section in order to have the baby and stop the bleeding before it got out of hand and caused serious damage. Negan tried not to let this worry him, tried to stay calm, but this wasn’t before everything, they didn’t have a team of surgeons and a state of the art operating room and everything that should exist but didn’t anymore. There was a very real possibility that this could spell his end. 

 

“You are going to be fine. They are going to be fine. We are all going to be fine.” Rick apparently sensed his anxiety or perhaps simply read it on his face. 

 

Negan wanted to argue that there was no way Rick could be sure of that but decided against it. Instead he moved a little closer to his mate, trying to draw strength from Rick’s stable presence.

 

After that, things moved quickly as they didn’t have any time to waste. They gave him a morphine drip, one of the few luxuries they were lucky enough to have. It wouldn’t completely remove the pain, but it would make it bearable. At least there were clean tools and though Siddiq hadn’t been a fully fledged doctor before all this, he was the most qualified of anyone to do it. They didn’t have any anesthetic, so just the morphine would have to do. 

 

Negan had seen plenty of gore in his life, doled out as much as he received. He was sure the same could be said for Rick. So when they finally started, he didn’t hide from it. But he also made his focus on Rick, who was clearly focused on him. He allowed the Alpha to keep ahold of his hand and stroke the hair back from his face. He sat through it when Rick insisted on wiping away the sweat that still clung to his skin and he made sure when the pain sharped that he got through it. 

 

Still, it was exhausting, more and more of his blood escaping, what energy he had left becoming less and less. He held tighter onto Rick, refusing to pass out. 

 

A shrill cry pulled him from his stupor. His eyes opened wide as he zeroed in on the source. Before him, bloodied and screaming, but pink and very much alive, was their child. Siddiq smiled briefly at both of them, “It’s a girl.” 

 

None of it mattered now. Not the pain he was still in, not the energy still leaving him, not even his fight with Rick mattered at that moment. She was alive. He had a child, one he’d been told he’d never have. She was perfect, he didn’t have to figure that out, it was something he was already sure of. 

 

Rick was the one to sever their connection. After that, one of the assistants took their daughter and cleaned her off before beginning to look her over. Meanwhile Siddiq work to quell the bleeding and patch him back up. Negan stopped paying attention to what he was doing after a moment, too focused on the wiggling body of his child. He could’ve bled to death right then and been at peace with it. At least she was alive. 

 

Beside him, Rick couldn’t stop smiling. He nuzzled Negan’s cheek, even as the Omega’s eyes closed again and he was dangerously close to falling unconscious. Rick kept him from it, squeezing his hand hard enough that he opened his eyes again. It was then that he noticed Jesus coming in close as Siddiq finished with his stitches. 

 

“What are you..?”

 

“You need blood. I’m a universal donor.” He stated simply as one of the assistants prepped his arm to draw the blood. 

 

All Negan could manage was a nod. He hadn’t even noticed that Rick had disappeared from his side. He looked around and found him on his other side, holding the little bundle that was their daughter. 

 

Immediately Negan jerked up right, despite how drained he felt. He didn’t care if he pulled any stitches either. He could only think of one thing. 

 

“Please! Rick, please don’t take her!” Desperation rose in his voice. “You can’t! Don’t take her away from me! She’s all I’ve got! All of I’ve wanted! You can’t do this! She’s mine too, you can’t just take her and leave me to fucking rot for the rest of my life! I-I don’t care if you banish me or starve me, just don’t take her away!” If he could’ve, he would’ve pulled himself from the bed and tried to take her back. He had half a mind to try anyway, even though he knew he would probably fall as soon as he stood upright. 

 

The outburst made everyone freeze for a moment. Then Siddiq was trying to get him to lay back down. But Negan could not take his eyes off Rick, expecting the other man to bolt and leave him here with nothing but memories and a scar. 

 

That’s not what happened. Instead Rick came back to the bedside and carefully handed Negan their daughter. She seemed to realize who he was, blinking up at him sleepily with the same blue eyes Rick had, the eyes he gotten lost in so many times, and then had fallen in love with. The hair on her head though, sparse as it was, was a dark color, like his own. She truly was perfect and everything he wanted. 

 

Rick settled himself down on the edge of the bed, watching as Negan slowly calmed, reaching to stroke a gentle fingertip across the little girl’s cheek. She had been distressed before, but now her eyes fell closed, her chest slowly rising and falling. 

 

“I’m not going to take her from you.” Rick finally said. “I told you I had made a mistake and it truly was that. I should have never, ever agreed to something so cruel, even if she wasn’t ours because no matter what, she still would’ve been yours. And even if it hadn’t been you and it had been someone else in there, it was still wrong. I truly am sorry, despite if you believe me or not.” He fidgeted. “You belong with me, you belong with my family, which is your family now too. I understand if you want to continue to stay with Olivia, but I’d be really happy if you came home. Both of you.” 

 

Negan didn’t answer for a long time. Only when Siddiq told him it was time for his transfusion did he allow Rick to take their daughter again. He held out his arm while they found a vein. He began to feel a little better once the blood started flowing. 

 

“I still love you. I know I said that this shit might be forever but...god, I was so fucking angry and I still am somewhat. I don’t know how long it will take me to forgive you but for once I actually want to try. I want us to be okay. I want to come home. I know that I don’t belong anywhere else.” He managed a bit of a hesitant smile, the corner of his mouth turning up. 

 

Rick felt relief wash over him and he immediately moved to press a kiss to Negan’s cheek and was pleasantly surprised when his mate turned his head so their lips could meet. He pressed himself closer, so they could both see their little girl. 

* * *

 

“She needs a name.” Rick said, once the transfusion was over and things had settled. The assistants had erected a curtain around Negan’s bed to give them a bit of privacy. 

 

“You’re right. Did you still want to name her Rose, after your mother?” 

 

“I was thinking about that. How about Lucille Rose?” 

 

Negan blinked up at Rick, slightly taken aback. “Rick, are you sure? What will people think? What if they associate her with the war and all the shit that came with that?”

 

“They can if they choose to, but not in front of me. Lucille wasn’t just a weapon, she was someone you loved and someone who loved you. I try to look at that without jealousy, to acknowledge her as someone who took care of you before I ever came into the picture. I’m sure you would try and do the same if it was Lori we were talking about.”

 

Rick was right about that. They’d both talked about the mates they’d once had and all the raw emotion that came with their memories. They’d met their fate in different ways, but it was still the same fate nonetheless. It had brought he and Rick closer to share that with each other and Negan tried to allow Rick to honor Lori without infereing. Rick still kept a picture of her and Carl, back before everything collapsed. It made Negan wish he had something besides a bat to remind him of Lucille. He looked down at their daughter. Maybe now he did. 

 

“Only if you’re sure.”

 

“I am. I’ve thought about it for a long time.”

 

Negan leaned against him, happy when he received another kiss. “Thank you. Thank you for that and for giving me her in the first place.”

 

Rick pressed his lips into a line to keep from smiling too much. “Did you just thank me for mounting you?”

 

Negan paused. “Well fuck, I guess I did.”

 

They both began to laugh at that, only quieting so as to not wake their sleeping daughter. 


End file.
